Find You in the Dark

head shyly, as if he realized what he had just admitted. God, I wanted to touch him so badly but didn't know if I should.
    “I love my friends. I've known Danny and Rachel my entire life. Our mothers were best friends growing up. But even that seems a little trite.” Clay raised his eyebrow at me. “Trite?” I nodded, swimming closer to the shore so I could sit down on the dirt floor of the river, the water lapping at my chin and keeping me warm from the quickly cooling air.
    “Well, you know, our parents were best friends so of course we're best friends. And we have this vanilla life with vanilla conversations and the occasional vanilla party on the weekends. Nothing crazy. Nothing to rock the boat. I feel like I've been doing the same thing for so long I don't know how to be anything different. Like I said, I'm just so bored. And anytime I try to talk to Rach or Danny about it, I just don't think they hear me. I mean. I feel almost...depressed with it all. I want to feel energized, passionate about something. Anything.”
    Or someone . I thought to myself, looking at Clay who still tread water a few feet away from me. I had said more to him about my feelings than I had to anyone in a very long time. And Clay didn't look at me like I was crazy. In fact he seemed to take my words very seriously. And I swear it was in that moment that I began to fall in love with him.
    The way he listened to me and actually heard me. And what I was saying wasn't stupid. At least not to him. He only nodded. “I understand. I do. But trust me, you are anything but boring.” I harrumphed, not believing him.
    “Yeah, I'm so interesting. Maggie Young, with her happily married parents and her average A minus GPA, average afterschool activities, talking about average topics everyday with her average friends. How can that not be boring?” I blew air out of my nose in frustration. How could I think I had anything to offer this interesting and amazing guy? I was seriously deluded.
    Clay swam over to me and sat beside me. Our arms brushed under the water and then stayed like that, touching, like even our skin couldn't get enough of each other.
    “Maggie. What you just described to me sounds perfect.” I rolled my eyes and Clay grabbed my hand. “No, listen to me. You are beautiful and smart and you have this fantastic life all laid out in front of you. You are kind and open minded, plus you're sarcastic and sexy as hell.” I couldn't help but smile at the girl he was describing. Me, sexy? I had never thought of myself that way.
    “I would give anything to have what you have. Parents and friends who love you. Knowing you have that kind of unconditional love is unbelievable. You don't understand how lucky you are.” He sounded sad and I leaned into his shoulder. “And you don't have that, Clay?” I asked him softly.
    Clay looked down at me with his deep, dark eyes and all I saw was this aching loneliness that tore at my heart. I knew without him having to answer me that his life had been a hard one. And that whatever was going on with him had forced him to create this giant wall that effectively kept everyone at a distance. As though he couldn't handle any more personal admissions, Clay suddenly dove back into the water, shutting the door on our confidences.
    I was more than a little disappointed. I felt like I was just starting to understand him a little bit and then he had to go and throw the wall back up. But before I could pout or get in a huff, Clay pulled me by my ankle back into the water, starting our water fight all over again. And after a few moments of his playfulness, I had forgotten why I was irritated.
    We must have been there for awhile, because I suddenly realized it was getting dark and the air had started to cool. Without thinking about the fact that I was only in my bra and underwear, I got out of the water and went to my cell phone, where I had left it on a tree stump. “Crap, it's 6:30. I've got to get home.”
    Now that I was out of the water, I was freezing. And like idiots, we didn't have towels. I heard Clay get out of the water. I didn't want to look at him, feeling suddenly embarrassed by the fact that I was practically naked in front of him. I gathered my clothes and held them to my chest.
    Suddenly, I felt Clay's hands on my arms, as he rubbed them up and down to try and generate some warmth. I turned around and looked up at him. Something flashed in his eyes and I felt like there was a definite