Find You in the Dark

Stayed all calm and logical. It made me feel stupid by comparison.
    “We're just friends, Dad. Clay fell asleep and I fell asleep beside him. That's it. But you totally humiliated me.” I hated the feel of tears pricking behind my eyes and quickly wiped them away. My dad's face softened a bit. “I didn't mean to humiliate you, Maggie girl.” I knew he was feeling guilty because he was using my pet name. “But Clay is a boy and you are my little girl. And from the sound of your voice, I get the feeling there's a bit more than friendship going on there.” I started to protest, then stopped. What was the point in lying about it?
    My dad nodded knowingly. “So I think my stipulations are very reasonable. Clay is not allowed in your room when there is no one home. Are we clear?” I shrugged, not wanting to talk about it anymore. “Fine, whatever. It's not like I'm not seventeen years old, about to turn eighteen in four months. I'm almost an adult, Dad, and you treat me like a child.” I whined. I knew I sounded exactly like the child I tried to convince him I wasn't. I was not making a very good argument.
    “I don't care if you're 102. When you are living at home, you follow your mom's and my rules. It's just how it is. Now, this has never been a problem before, so what's the issue now?” My father asked me pointedly, making it clear he knew what, or who the problem was and his name started with a 'C' and ended in a 'Y.'
    I felt like crying. I had never really fought with my dad and it felt awful. But I felt something inside me changing. I was sick of being treated like their little girl. I was finally becoming a woman; with the wants of a woman and the needs of a woman, and my parents were starting to cramp my style.
    But I didn't argue anymore. I just left the kitchen, went up to my room, and closed the door. I was proud of myself for not slamming it the way I wanted to. I threw myself on my bed, gathering the pillow to my chest and pushing my face into the fabric.
    I could still smell Clay's cologne and I felt a new wave of excitement. Those moments lying with him had been amazing. And it made me re-think so many of the caveats to our relationship. Because I wanted him, desperately, and I think I was pretty sure I was done with waiting.
    Sure the issues were still there, but maybe loving him would be the best way to help him. Yep, my mind was made up. I wanted Clayton Reed as my boyfriend. I loved him and I wouldn't stay a part from him any longer. My parents and my own fears be damned.
    And if he went into the dark again, this time I would be there to find him – to follow him. Because I thought, perhaps quite immaturely, that my love could help him. Maybe our love could do even more than just help – maybe it could heal him. Fix him. Fix everything.

    “You look so amazingly awful!” Rachel squealed, having me turn around for the millionth time in my hideous formal dress. I had teased my hair into an eighties do, complete with the poufy bangs and frizzy curls. I did look pretty funny. Though, I was pleased to note that the dress was actually very form fitting and gave me the illusion of some amazing curves. So despite the nasty puffed sleeves and horrible color, I didn't look too bad.
    Which was good, because I was ready to make my feelings for Clay known tonight. This was it, I was taking the plunge. Clay hadn't been back to my house in the week and a half leading up to the dance. He made a million excuses when I would suggest him coming inside after school. I knew my dad had freaked him out and Clay was trying to be respectful of his wishes. But that unfortunately meant we hadn't been alone since falling asleep in my bed and that sucked. Ruby had started taking the afternoons off at the shop so we would end up hanging out in Clay's living room, watching TV and doing our homework while Ruby plied us with new herbal tea concoctions she was trying out.
    I really loved his aunt and her girlfriend. They immediately made me feel welcome- (unlike my father did to Clay -) and were very clear as to how happy they were that Clay and I were spending time together. I could see the worry in Ruby's eyes when she looked at her nephew. It was the same worry I felt underneath the budding anticipation that was building inside of me when he and I were together.
    The sexual tension was threatening to choke me, it had become so thick. Clay and I made every excuse to touch each other, in a seemingly platonic way. Clay