First Impressions

again that she didn’t know him. And, God help her, she loved him anyway. Turning, she began to fiddle with an arrangement of cut glass.
    “I’m sorry, Vance, but I have a few things to finish up here before I leave. I’m supposed to go to Donna’s tonight.”
    “She didn’t seem to expect you,” he commented as he walked to her. Gently, he laid his hands on her shoulders. “Shane—”
    She stiffened immediately. “Don’t!”
    Very slowly, he took his hands from her, then dropped them to his sides. “All right, damn it, I won’t touch you.” The words came out savagely as he whirled away.
    “Vance, I told you I’m busy.”
    “You said that you loved me.”
    Shane spun around, white with anger. “How can you throw that in my face?”
    “Was it a lie?” he demanded.
    She opened her mouth but closed it again before any impetuous words could be spoken. Lifting her chin, she looked at him steadily. “I loved the man you pretended to be.”
    He winced, but he didn’t back away. “Direct hit, Shane,” he said quietly. “You surprise me.”
    “Why, because I’m not as stupid as you thought I was?”
    Anger flashed into his eyes, then dulled. “Don’t.”
    Shaken by the pain in the single word, she turned away. “I’m sorry, Vance. I don’t want to say spiteful things. It would be better for both of us if you just went away.”
    “The hell it would, if you’ve been half as miserable as I’ve been. Have you been able to sleep, Shane? I haven’t.”
    “Please,” she whispered.
    He took a deep breath as his hands clenched into fists. He’d come prepared to fight with her, to bully her, to plead with her. Now, it seemed he could do nothing but try to fumble through an explanation. “All right, I’ll go, but only if you listen to me first.”
    “Vance,” she said wearily, “what difference will it make?”
    The finality of her tone had fear twisting in his stomach. With a strong effort, he kept his voice calm. “If that’s true, it won’t hurt you to listen.”
    “All right.” Shane turned back to face him. “All right, I’ll listen.”
    He was quiet for a moment, then began to pace as though whatever ran through him wouldn’t allow him to keep still. “I came here because I had to get away, maybe even hide. I’m not sure anymore. I was still very young when I took over the company. It wasn’t what I wanted.” He stopped for a moment to send her a direct look. “I’m a carpenter, Shane, that was the truth. I’m president of Riverton because I have to be.
Why
doesn’t really matter at this point, but a title, a position, doesn’t change who I am.” When she said nothing, he began to pace again.
    “I was married to a woman you’d recognize very quickly. She was beautiful, charming and pure plastic. She was totally self-consumed, emotionless, even vicious.” Shane’s brows drew together as she thought of Anne. “Unfortunately, I didn’t recognize the last of those qualities until it was too late.” He stopped because the next words were difficult. “I married the woman she pretended to be.” Because his back was to her, Vance didn’t see the sudden change in Shane’s expression. Pain rushed into her eyes, but it wasn’t for herself. It was all for him.
    “For all intents and purposes, the marriage was over very soon after it had begun. I couldn’t make a legal break at first because too many things were involved. So, we lived together in mutual distaste for several years. I involved myself in the company to the point of obsession, while she began to take lovers. I wanted her out of my life more than I wanted anything. Then, when she was dead, I had to live with the knowledge that I’d wished her dead countless times.”
    “Oh, Vance,” Shane murmured.
    “That was over two years ago,” he continued. “I buried myself in work . . . and bitterness. I’d come to a point where I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. That’s why I bought the house and took a leave of absence. I needed to separate myself from what I’d become, try to find out if that was all there was to me.” He dragged an agitated hand through his hair. “I brought the bitterness with me, so that when you popped up and started haunting my mind, I wanted nothing more than to be rid of you. I looked . . . I searched,” he corrected, turning to her again, “for flaws in you. I was afraid to believe you could really be so . . . generous. The truth was, I didn’t want you to