For Darkness Shows the Stars

pristine in reverence of an ancestry that stretched back long before the Reduction.
    “What beautiful country,” Donovan said. “It reminds me very much of some of the wild islands we discovered on our explorations.”
    “That makes sense,” said Elliot. “Once upon a time, these lands were home to herds of wild horses. Was this what it looked like on the island where you found the Innovation horses?”
    Donovan looked at his hands. “I was not on that particular voyage. It was from . . . before I joined the Fleet.”
    “Still, you must have seen many spectacular sights. Things no one else has witnessed in hundreds of years.”
    “Yes,” Donovan replied, his tone stiff, and too late, Elliot remembered his song from the concert. He had seen them, and he now regretted every moment he’d spent away from Sophia.
    “That was a very beautiful song you gave us last night,” she said. “I am told that . . . I am very sorry for your loss.”
    “Thank you,” said Donovan. “There are days that go by now where I’m fine. Where I believe that everything is better, and I can go through my day without thinking of her every second. But it’s almost worse after that. For then, when the memories do return, they bring with them remorse for having ever forgotten her.”
    “You haven’t forgotten her,” Elliot said, “just because a few minutes or days or eventually weeks go by without having your grief in the forefront of your thoughts. She wouldn’t like it if you dwelled only on your sadness.”
    “You say this from experience in loss?” Donovan replied.
    “Yes. I lost my mother four years ago.” And she’d also lost Kai. Neither person had been far from her thoughts in the ensuing years. But Kai had lingered more, because she knew he was out there somewhere. Her mother only lived in her heart. “And I try to honor her memory by doing what I know she would have done had she survived. But if I ever forget her, momentarily, I don’t berate myself when I am reminded. She can’t be the only thing I ever think of, or I’d be catatonic, as unable to cope as I was the day I lost her.”
    “Ah, there you have it. I am unable to cope. I am not a credit to the Cloud Fleet at present. I write sad songs, but I haven’t been working much on our ship.”
    “You will move past this,” she said.
    He gave her a pitiful smile. “I don’t think so. Your mother, I am sure, was taken before her time, but she was a grown woman. She had made a life, she had grown children in you and your sister. Sophia died so young—all of her potential was wasted.”
    “And would she be happy to see you wasting yours?” Elliot asked. “I didn’t know her, but I have heard she was a great fan of the future. She wouldn’t like you to think only of the past.”
    Donovan laughed mirthlessly. “Elliot, you sound nothing at all like a Luddite when you say things like that.”
    “Perhaps I do not have a very Luddite outlook,” she said. “But I am serious. You must continue to live your life, and remember her with fondness, not with guilt. You were not meant to think always and only of the person you have lost. That is not the way the human mind was meant to operate.”
    Donovan looked up at the flawless expanse of sky above their heads. “Perhaps I do not have a very human mind.”

S EVEN Y EARS A GO
     
    Dear Elliot,
    By the time you read this, I’ll be gone. I don’t want to stay here anymore. I’ve been here for my whole life—all eleven years—and I’ve had it. I don’t want to live and die on this farm like I’m one of the Reduced. I don’t want to work on your father’s stupid tractors. I want to read more books. I want to see more places. I am going away and I’m going to see the world. I heard there are places where there are Posts like me—Posts that don’t live on Estates and work for Luddites. I want to be one of those.
    I know I will miss my da, and I know I will miss you. Don’t miss me too much. Take care of Ro. Maybe someday I’ll come back and visit, and we can go see the stars like you said.
    Your friend,
    Kai
        
     
    Dear Kai,
    Please don’t be mad. I had to tell someone. It’s not safe for you to wander off the Estate. Ever since Benedict left, all I hear are horrible stories about the things that happen in those Post enclaves. Bad things. I can’t imagine them happening to you. And I can’t bear the thought of you leaving, either. I can’t be without you, and neither can