Forest Kingdom Trilogy 1 - Blue Moon Rising

somewhat muted howl from Harald.
    King John's mouth tightened angrily, and he gestured for one of his Royal Guard to approach the throne.
    'Your majesty?'
    'Take my compliments to my son Harald and the Princess Julia, and tell them I will see them after this audience is ended. You will further add that if I hear one more word from either of them before that time so help me I'll have them chained together and cleaning out the Castle cesspits!'
    'Yes, your majesty,' said the guard, and headed quickly for the closed antechamber doors.
    King John shook his head slowly, and turned back to the waiting fanners. 'Sorry about that; my eldest son's courting.'
    The farmers smiled and nodded, and seemed to relax a little for the first time since entering the Court.
    King John searched for something else to say that might help put the farmers more at their ease. It was clear they needed to talk, but none of them seemed to know where or how to start. The King leaned forward, choosing his words with care, and then the double doors slammed open as the Seneschal came limping furiously into the Court, followed by a protesting guardsman. The Seneschal glared him into silence, and then advanced, still glowering, on the King.
    'Dammit, your majesty, this time you've got to do something!'
    The King closed his eyes briefly, and wished wistfully that he was somewhere else. Anywhere else.
    'What is it this time, sir Seneschal?'
    'It's those damned goblins again, what else?' The Seneschal lurched to a halt before the throne, nodded brusquely to the mystified farmers, and then leaned heavily on his walking stick and glared at the King.
    'You should never have let those disgusting little creatures into the Castle, Sire, they've been nothing but trouble since they got here. I don't know what possessed Prince Rupert to send them to us in the first place. I've known Barrow Down guttersnipes that were more civilised! It took us three weeks to teach them to use the toilets. And another three weeks to stop them using the sinks. It's not as though they contributed anything to the Castle's defences; their fighting isn't worth a damn, and they won't take orders from anyone except their own leaders. They're passable scouts, when I can persuade them to set foot outside the safety of the Castle walls, but they will keep setting traps for the demons and then forgetting where they put them. You wouldn't believe how many trackers we've lost that way. It's keeping the poachers on their toes, I'll admit, but that's not the point ...'
    'Sir Seneschal,' said the King, cutting in firmly, 'what exactly is your problem? What have the goblins done now?'
    The Seneschal sniffed a couple of times in an embarrassed sort of way, and studied his shoes. 'Well, Sire, for want of anything better to do with them, I put them in charge of manning the battlements. It seemed a good idea at the time, mainly on the grounds that anything that got them out of sight and out of mind had to be a good idea. I mean, what harm could they get up to on the damn battlements? I should
    have known better. You will be interested to learn, your majesty, that I have finally discovered why the kitchens are always short of cauldrons these days. It's because those damned goblins have been stealing them to mix their boiling oil in! We only just got to them in time to stop the little bastards from testing their latest batch by dropping it on the three Landsgraves as they rode in from their day's hunting!'
    The King tried hard to look shocked, but a smile kept tugging at his mouth as he savoured the thought of a cauldron of bubbling boiling oil being slowly tilted over the Landsgraves' unsuspecting heads . . . He finally hid his grin behind a raised hand, and had a quiet coughing fit.
    'Were any of the noble Landsgraves injured?' he asked the Seneschal, when he felt he could trust his voice again.
    'Well, not actually hurt, Sire, but if they hadn't been wearing cloaks and chain-mail ...'
    Several of the farmers had a quiet coughing fit. It seemed the Landsgraves weren't that popular outside the Court either. The King made a mental note to look into that; he could always use more allies against the Barons.
    'I'm glad to hear no one was hurt,' he said solemnly. 'How did the Landsgraves take it?'
    'You can ask them yourself, your majesty. They should be here any minute.'
    King John glared at his Seneschal. 'Thanks for the advance warning. Round up the goblins, and send the lot of them out into the Forest. I