From the Heart

hers on the handle.
    “You’re not going after him,” he said evenly. When she tried to jerk free, he took her by the shoulders with more gentleness than he was feeling. He hated to see her like this, tormented, desperate—hating knowing it was him she would turn against. But he had no choice. “You’re not going after him,” he said again, spacing the words precisely. “Unless I have your word, I’ll cuff you to the bed and lock you in.” He narrowed his eyes as her hand struggled beneath his. “I mean it, Jess.”
    She didn’t turn against him, but to him. And that, Slade discovered, was worse. “Not David,” she murmured, crumpling into his arms. “Slade, I can’t bear it. I think I could stand anything but knowing either one of them was involved with what—with what happened this morning.”
    She seemed so fragile. He was almost afraid she would shatter if he applied the least pressure. What do I do with her now? he wondered as he laid his cheek on her hair. He knew how to handle her when she was furious. He could even manage her when she dissolved into stormy tears. But what did he do when she was simply limp and totally dependent on him? She was asking him for reassurance he couldn’t give, emotion he was terrified to offer.
    “Jess, don’t do this to yourself. Block it out, a couple ofdays.” He tilted up her chin until their eyes met. He saw trust, and a plea. “Let me take care of you,” he heard himself say. “I want to take care of you.” He wasn’t aware of moving until his lips found hers. Her vulnerability undermined him. To keep her from harm, to shield her from hurt, seemed his only purpose. “Think of me,” he murmured, unconsciously speaking the thoughts that raced around in his head. “Only think of me.” Slade drew her closer, changing the angle for more soft, nibbling kisses. “Tell me you want me. Let me hear you say it.”
    “Yes, I want you.” Breathless and pliant, she allowed him to give and to take while she remained passive. For the moment Jessica had no strength to offer anything but surrender in return, but it was enough for both of them. In his arms she could almost forget the nightmare, and the reality.
    He took her hands and buried his lips in the palm of one, then the other. It surprised her enough to steady rather than arouse her. Slade wasn’t a man for endearments, or for typically romantic gestures. Even as the tingle ran up her arms, it occurred to Jessica that her weakness, her despair, only made his difficult job impossible. He’d been wiser than he knew to ask her to think of him. Drawing on her reserves of strength, she straightened her shoulders and smiled at him.
    “Betsy has a nasty temper when she has to keep meals waiting.”
    Gratified, he answered the smile. “Hungry?”
    “Yes,” she lied.
     
    Jessica managed to eat a little, though the food threatened to stick in her throat. Knowing Slade watched her, she made an effort to appear as though she were enjoying the meal. She talked—rambled—about anything but what was foremost on her mind. Too many topics of conversation could lead back to the shop, to David, to Michael. To the man in the grove. Jessica found herself fighting the inclination to look out the window. To look out only reminded her that she was imprisoned in her own home.
    “Tell me about your family,” she demanded, almost desperately.
    Deciding that it would be better to go along with herpretense than insist she eat or rest, Slade passed her cream for the coffee she was allowing to grow cold. “My mother’s a quiet woman—the kind of person who talks only when she has something to say. She likes little things like the figure I bought in your shop and fussy glass. She plays the piano—started taking lessons again last year. The only thing she ever insisted on was that Janice and I learn to play.”
    “Do you?”
    Slade heard the surprise in her voice and gave her a mild scowl. “Badly,” he admitted. “She finally gave up on me.”
    “How does she feel about . . .” Jessica hesitated, then picked up her spoon to stir her coffee. “About what you do?”
    “She doesn’t say.” Slade watched her move the spoon around and around until a tiny whirlpool formed in the cup. “I wouldn’t think it any easier to be the mother of a cop than the wife of one. But she manages. She’s always managed.”
    With a nod, Jessica pushed the untouched coffee aside. “And your sister, Janice . . . you said she