From the Heart

pockets. “How’s your arm?”
    “It’s fine.” Absently, she reached up to touch the wound that had healed while she thought of the one that hadn’t. “The doctor says I won’t even have a scar.”
    “Great. That’s just great.” Slade pulled out a pack of cigarettes, then tossed it on a table.
    “I like the idea,” Jessica returned calmly. “I’m not fond of scars.”
    “Did you mean what you said?” It rushed out of him before he could think to prevent it.
    “About the scar?”
    “No, not about the damn scar.” Frustrated, he dragged a hand through his hair.
    “I try to mean what I say,” she murmured. Her heart was in her throat now, so that she forced herself to say each word carefully.
    “You said you were in love with me.” Every muscle in his body tensed. “Did you mean it?”
    Taking a deep breath, Jessica turned back to him. Her face was composed, her eyes calm. “Yes, I meant it.”
    “It’s your warped sense of gratitude,” he told her, then paced to the fire and back again.
    Something began to warm in her. Jessica felt simultaneous sensations of relief and amusement. “I think I could tell the difference,” she considered. “Sometimes I’m very grateful to the butcher for a good cut of meat, but I haven’t fallen in love with him . . . yet.”
    “Oh, you’re funny.” Slade shot her a furious glance. “Don’t you see it was just circumstance, just the situation?”
    “Was it?” Jessica smiled as she crossed to him. Slade backed away.
    “I don’t want any part of you,” he told her heatedly. “I want you to understand that.”
    “I think I understand.” She lifted a hand to his cheek. “I think I understand very well.”
    He caught her wrist, but couldn’t force himself to toss it aside. “Do you know how I felt, having you unconscious—your blood on my hands? Do you know what it did to me, seeing you in that hospital bed? I’ve seen corpses with more color.” She felt his fingers tremble lightly before they dropped her wrist. “Damn it, Jess,” he breathed before he spun away to pour himself another drink.
    “Slade.” Jessica wrapped her arms around his waist. Why hadn’t she thought of that? she demanded of herself. Why hadn’t she realized that he would blame himself? “I was the one who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
    “Don’t.” He put his hands on hers, firmly pushing them away. “I’ve got nothing for you, can’t you understand? Nothing. Different poles, Jess. We barely speak the same language.”
    If he had faced her, he would have seen the line form between her brows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
    “Look at this place!” He gestured around the room as he whirled to her. “Where you live, how you live. It’s got nothing to do with me.”
    “Oh.” Pursing her lips, she considered. “I see, you’re a snob.”
    “Damn you, can’t you see anything?” Infuriated, he grabbed her shoulders. “I don’t want you.”
    “Try again,” she suggested.
    He opened his mouth, then relieved his frustration by shaking her. “You’ve no right—no right to get inside myhead this way. I want you out. Once and for all I want you out!”
    “Slade,” she said quietly, “why don’t you stop hating it so much and give in? I’m not going anywhere.”
    How his hands found their way into her hair, he didn’t know. But they were sunk deep, and so was he. Struggling all the way, he gave in. “I love you, damn it. I’d like to choke you for it.” His eyes grew dark and stormy. “You worked on me,” he accused as she gazed up at him, calm and composed. “Right from the beginning you worked on me until I can’t function without you. For God’s sake, I could smell you down at the station house.”
    Pushed as much by fury as by need, he dragged her into his arms. “I thought I’d go mad unless I could taste you again.” His lips covered hers, not gently. But then Jessica wasn’t looking for gentleness. Here was the hard, bruising contact she had longed to feel again. Her response came in an explosion of heart, body, and mind so that her demand met his and fulminated. They clung for one long shimmering instant, then they were tangled together on the hearth rug.
    “I need you.” The words shuddered from him as two pairs of hands struggled with clothes. “Now.” He found her naked breast and groaned. “It’s been so long.”
    “Too long.”
    Words were no longer possible. Beside them the fire