G Is for Gumshoe

started upchucking about midnight and haven't stopped yet," she said. She rubbed her face and then pulled her lower lids down so she could inspect the conjunctivas. "Nothing like a hangover to make you long for death…"
    A toilet flushed and Vera emerged from one of the four stalls. She was buttoning up an olive and khaki camouflage outfit, a jumpsuit with big shoulder pads and epaulettes, looking like she was moments away from a landing on Anzio Beach. The glance she gave me was not friendly. "What happened to you last night?" she said waspishly. I was exhausted and my nerves were on edge, so her tone didn't sit well and neither did her attitude.
    I said, "Well, jump right in, Vera. Agnes Grey died, among other things. I didn't get to bed till after three a.m. How about you?"
    Vera crossed to the sinks, her high heels snapping against the ceramic tiles. She turned the water on way too hard and splashed herself. She jumped back. "Shit!" she said.
    "Agnes Grey?" Darcy said. She was watching our reflections in the mirror, her expression wary.
    "My client's mother," I said. "She dropped dead of a heart attack."
    Darcy frowned. "That's weird."
    "Actually it was weird, but how did you know?"
    "Do you mind?" Vera said to Darcy pointedly. Apparently, she wanted to talk to me alone. It occurred to me belatedly that she and Vera had been discussing me just before I came in. Oh boy.
    Darcy shot me an apologetic look. She dried her hands hastily under the wall-mounted blower, blotting the residual water on the back of her skirt. "See you later, gang," she said. She took her purse and departed with a decided air of relief.
    The door hadn't closed behind her when Vera turned and looked at me. "I don't appreciate the crap you told Neil last night," she said. Her face was tense, her gaze fiery.
    I felt a rush of heat go through me. I needed to pee, but it seemed inappropriate. "Really," I said. "Like what?"
    "I am not smitten with him. We're strictly friends and that's all it is. Get it?"
    "What are you in such a snit about?"
    She leaned against the sink, a hand on her hip. "I introduced you to the man because I thought you'd get along with him, not to have you turn around and… manipulate the circumstances."
    "How did I do that?"
    "You know how! You told him I had a crush on him and now he's behaving like an idiot."
    "What'd he do, break it off?"
    "Of course he didn't break it off! He proposed to me last night!"
    "He did? Well, that's great! Congratulations. I hope you said yes."
    Vera's mouth turned down at the corners and she burst into tears. I was taken aback. For a sophisticated woman, she was bawling like a little kid. I found myself with my arms around her, patting her awkwardly. It's not easy to comfort someone twice your size. She had to hunch down slightly while I raised up on tiptoe. It was not the full California body hug of longtime friends. Contact was limited to the upper portions of our torsos where we were linked like the two bowed wings of a wishbone.
    "What am I gonna doooo?" she wailed into my right ear.
    "You might think about getting married," I suggested helpfully.
    "I caaaan't."
    "Of course you can, Vera. People do it every day."
    "I'm too old and too tall and he says he wants kids."
    I could feel a laugh bubble up, but I resisted the urge to make a flip remark. I said mothering-type things, "There, there" and "It's all right." Remarkably, it seemed to work. Within a minute, she calmed down to a series of hiccups and sniffs. She let out a big sigh and then blew her nose noisily on a piece of shriveled Kleenex she found in her jumpsuit. She pressed the tissue to her eyes and then she did a quick burbling laugh while she checked her makeup. "When I saw you and Neil with your heads bent together last night I wanted to kill you."
    "Yeah, I caught the look. I just wasn't sure what it meant," I said.
    "And right about then, Mac started making his speech and next thing I knew you were gone. What was that about?"
    I filled her in on (some, but not all of) my night's activities and then quizzed her on hers.
    She spent the next few minutes detailing the portion of the banquet I'd missed. Neil had slipped over into Dietz's chair while Mac finished his speech. After-dinner drinks arrived. She was so upset with Neil because of his apparent interest in me, she started tossing down brandies and the next thing she knew, the two of them were back in her room making love. She started laughing again. "We didn't even make it