Ghost Time

It’s not a very big school. Big enough, I said, and he’s new. Knox said, His mother told me they moved here from California, and I nodded yes.
    Then he said, Cam’s a senior? And I nodded yes, and he goes, What year are you? I go, Sophomore. He goes, And how did you two meet? So I told him, I said, He was my geometry tutor, and Knox goes, I’m told he’s some sort of math whiz, is that right? And I said, Yeah, that’s what Cam keeps telling me, too. Knox smiled, and he said, So Cam was your tutor, and then you started dating? I said, We were friends, then we started going out, and he smiled, trying to put me at ease, I think.
    Then he goes, Does Cam have many friends in school? I said, Cam gets along with everybody, and the cop goes, What about you? And I go, Me? I can’t stand anybody, I said, and he smiled. Opposites attract, he said. Guess so, I said, shrugging. So there was no one Cam had any fights with, no one who had any grudges? And I said, No. No one. I told you, he got along witheveryone. Knox goes, And Cameron—Cam, sorry—he never talked about running away? I go, All the time, but not without me, then he kind of perked up and he goes, So you two talked about running away together? I said, We talked about traveling together, all over the world. That’s not running away, that’s running to, I said. And where did you talk about going, running to? Knox asked, grabbing the back of the plastic bucket chair in front of him with both hands. Everywhere, I said, shrugging again, because that was private, you know? I didn’t have to tell him that.
    Last bell for sixth period rang, and I was going to be late, so I looked at him like, Anything else? Knox shook his head no and said, Why don’t I walk you out? I nodded okay, and he followed me out of the office. There was no one in the hall by the time we walked out, then he looked at me and said, One more question. Did anything unusual happen that day, when you last saw him? No, I said, not that I can think of, and he said, You two didn’t have a fight that night? I almost said it, too. I almost said, Cam’s a hacker, not a fighter, but I didn’t.
    I said, No. I mean, we’ve had fights, but who doesn’t?, and he nodded, like he agreed with me. I go, But why did you think we had a fight? I just had to ask, he said, pulling out his card and handing it to me. Please call me if you need anything, or if you think of anything? Okay, I said, and then Knox said, Thank you, and he turned toward the doors.
    That afternoon, after school, I just kept staring at his card, the whole way home—second time I found myself taking the bus home, feeling… so alone , you know? I mean, I couldn’t get anyhomework done, I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t do anything. I just sat at my desk, staring at Hubble all night—our notebook, that’s what we call it, Hubble.
    Cam gave it to me for Christmas. It’s got this thick, beautiful paper, and it’s oversized, it’s perfect, and we share it. Like I take one page, and he takes the opposite page, and we swap, back and forth. But I take the left side, because Cam’s left-handed, so he has to write upside down, otherwise. Because it’s spiral, he’d have to write over the spiral, you know what I mean? The reason we call it Hubble is because, well, after he gave it to me, Cam said, What should we call it? And I said, You mean give the notebook a name? What, like Betty? And Cam goes, No. I mean, yes: not Betty, but something. Because notebook seems so… impersonal, you know?
    He was right. I didn’t even need to think about it, because he was right; we had to call it something. I looked at the page where he’d already written an entry, and it looked upside down to me, even though it was right-side up to him. It made me think about the stars, how Cam always loved to say the amazing thing about looking at the stars is you’re looking into the future and the past at the same time, and how, somewhere up there, in the sky, the Hubble Telescope is taking pictures of things we can’t imagine. What about… I started to speak, and then felt kinda stupid, so I shut my mouth. Tell me, he said, and I said, What about Hubble? Cam balked, hearing that, then he smiled this big, big smile. And his smile said yes: perfect. Then, of course—I mean, I didn’t say it, but I was just like, Ohmygod, I just named our notebook Hubble? That has got to be the geekiest idea I’ve ever had in my entire life.
    Anyhow, we’ve been