Ghost Time

ten minutes. Cam goes, I meant the desert, friendo, and I was just like, Oh. Right, I said. Why not? he said. We could road trip, end of the year, we could just hit the road, he said, and I was like, Oh, right, like my mom would ever agree. And he goes, She likes me, babe, and I go, Yes, she does, but but not that much. Cam goes, Leave the talking up to me, pulling out. You’ll love it, he said. Joshua Tree, Death Valley. And I go, I’ll love Death Valley? Thea, you wouldn’t believe the flowers there, after it rains, he said. Fields of purple flowers like you’ve never seen. I want to take you to the desert, he said.
    I thought about it, and then I said, Cam, don’t tease, no longer amused. Thea, he said, reaching the stop sign, right before the highway. Do I look like I’m teasing? he said, turning to look at me, all serious. I looked at him, but I didn’t answer. Well? he asked. No, I said, and then, pulling out, he goes, That’s because I’m not teasing. I’ve decided you need to see the desert and we need to take a road trip. You’ve decided, I said, and he goes, I think what you meant to say was, Oh, thank you. Or maybe, Cam, you are the greatest boyfriend in the whole world, he said, and I started laughing.
    Thing is, he’s so forgiving. It’s one of the qualities I admire most about him, how he could watch me screw up in somecompletely stupid, hideous, shameful way, and he’d forgive me, too. And I just kept spazzing out, since the day we met, and I kept waiting for him to see how ugly I was, inside, and if he saw it, well, all I know is, he never looked away. We just sat, quiet, all the way to town, until we pulled into the school parking lot, and he turned off the ignition.
    Then he turned to me and he goes, You still getting your head around that, or you need some help, there, Sparky? I started laughing, trying my hardest not to laugh, but once in a while he’d throw out some nickname. And I am so not Sparky, trust me. Yeah, I need something, all right, I said. You’re telling me, he said, because I need something, too. So maybe we could work something out, you and me, he said, winking at me. Now , he sighed, sitting back, so he could get a good look at me, his head freshly shaved, grinning as wide as the day is long, as my grandpa used to say. About that apology? he said.
    I felt the blood heading straight for my cheeks, and then, almost as though it was ringing from the heavens, the bell! I raised my arm in V for victory, practically punching the top of the car. And that, friendo, that is what we like to call saved by the first bell, I said, taunting him, still holding my arms up high, and his face. Oh, what I’d give to have a picture of Cam’s face at that moment, but, then again, who knows. I guess Nanna was right: there are times when you just have to look at what’s right in front of you, take it in, and hold on as tight as you can, every last detail.

FRIDAY, APRIL 29, 2011
    (TWENTY-FIVE DAYS LATER)
    2:57 PM
    I have no idea how I made it through the week, but Friday, after school, standing on the front steps, I couldn’t stand the thought of getting on the bus again, and I didn’t want to go home. After everything that’s happened, I didn’t want to be alone any longer than I absolutely have to be. Which is not me at all, I know, but it was getting lighter out, every night, and I just wanted to sit somewhere I’d be left alone for a couple hours. Not school, not home, so I went to Silver Top.
    It felt so strange, because it was the first time in six months that I’d been there without Cam. It was past three, but the Elders were still there. I’ve always called them that, because they’re like a tribal council, the Elders. The first time Cam saw them, he said it looked like they must have called shotgun on the big booth in the back sometime in the sixties, and it’s true—no one dares sit in the back booth if they’re around. You know Silver Top hasbeen open since 1963, and it hasn’t changed one bit since then. Like it’s still got the long row of round chrome and red leather stools at the counter, padded booths, and a rotating glass pie case. It’s a time capsule, and it’s definitely not Starbuck’s. Which is another reason I love it.
    And the Elders, they all wear a matching uniform, more or less. It’s like this old-timer’s dress code, and there’s a little bit of variation, but their favorite look is something like a red and white checkered shirt, black