Ghost Time

just not appropriate, and then Melody goes, What world are you living in? I go, Seriously, and he goes, What did she say? looking back and forth at us. I go, Oh, so now you believe me? Knox goes, Thea, I told you, I don’t know what to believe, but if you think she said something, I’d like to know. Mel goes, Tell him if he doesn’t like it, don’t read it. Really, who was asking you, anyhow, Dad? I repeated what she said: Who’s asking you, anyhow? Knox goes, I’m her father , and Melody goes, Dad, please. I’m fifteen—almost sixteen. I go, She said she’s almost sixteen. Knox did one of those big dad inhale-through-the-nostrils things, then he goes, Listen, it’s getting late. Let’s get you home, Thea, and Melody goes, Because he knows he’s wrong. I go, I know, but it’s not worth fighting about, and she goes, I want to see the movie, and I go, I’ll bring it next time, and Knox gave me the eye, but I ignored him, opening the front door.
    Their minivan was in the driveway, and it only took him a couple minutes to get Melody situated in the back. I could tell Knox was irritated, and so was Melody, but I didn’t have anything to say, because I didn’t do anything wrong. Seriously, don’t kill the messenger, you know? Besides which, worse than treating her like an invalid, he was treating Melody like a child. And she wants so badly to be a girl, you know? God, you don’t have to hear her to feel it. But I have to say, one thing I really like about Knox is that he doesn’t make small talk, probably because he doesn’t know how, but I wasn’t complaining.
    Here we are, he said, pulling into the parking lot in front of my building. It was dark, and the lights from the strip mall across the highway reminded me of something, while he parkedand turned off the ignition. Here, he said, twisting in the seat, removing his wallet from his back pocket, and I shook my head no. Please, he said, you really helped us out, and I just looked at him, like, Dude. I go, I did it because I wanted to hang out with Melody, grabbing the door handle. Thank you, he said, seeing I wasn’t going to take it.
    Best Friday night I’ve had in weeks, I said, speaking to Mel. I go, We’ll make it a double feature: Pretty Baby and The Virgin Suicides , and Mel goes, You’re on , and then I caught this look on Knox’s face, and I thought of the saying, Seeing is believing. But in his case, it was the opposite, like seeing us together, he couldn’t or he wouldn’t let himself believe, maybe because he wanted it to be true so badly, I don’t know. ’Night, I said, holding my hand against Melody’s window, and she said good night, and then I walked upstairs.
    Knox waited for me to open my door, and then I waved down at him, but when he pulled away, I swear Melody did everything in her power to turn her head and smile, to raise her hand and wave, and my chest went, Oomph! And then I remembered the line. It’s from a short story by Amy Hempel that begins My heart—I thought it stopped. I read it last year, in the hospital; someone left it behind and I guess the nurses must’ve thought it was a self-help book, because it’s called Reasons to Live . I’ve always remembered it, because it’s like, in one line, the whole story could go either way, you know? Like maybe it’s only a fraction of a second, but still, there are always moments when even the heart doesn’t know one from the other, good from bad.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2011
    (SIX WEEKS EARLIER)
    4:26 PM
    We took a drive and then we went to Silver Top, Saturday afternoon, and at first, it was just like any other day. What I mean is that I didn’t see it coming, and I guess I chose to block it out, but still. Once we sat down and Sharon brought our drinks and a plate of fries, just as I was reaching for the red plastic bottle of ketchup, Cam leaned over and grabbed his backpack. I was wondering why he brought it in, then I had the strangest sensation, hearing him unzip it, and I didn’t know what was wrong, until he pulled out a big white envelope and set it flat on the table, between us.
    I froze. Because I knew right away. I knew by the size and the font and the pink postage in the corner—one look, and I knew he’d been accepted to MIT, and honestly, I felt a little upchuck in my mouth. Like I actually touched my fingertips to my throat for a second. I know that’s awful of me, but it just hit me so hard,and before I knew it, my tongue was twisting in my