Heavenstone 02 - Secret Whispers

“We’ll try again some other time,” he added, but he didn’t sound sincere.
    I said nothing. I got dressed quickly, too. We left the motel room in silence. When I looked back, Cassie was standing in the doorway, with her arms folded over her breasts the way they were when she was planted firmly in a thought or a decision.
    “You want to get something to eat?” Ethan asked.
    “No,” I said. “I’m not hungry.”
    He nodded and drove us away. After a few minutes, he began asking more about the date rape.
    “Who was the man? Was he arrested or anything?”
    “Not arrested. My father handled that. As I said, he was working for us, and Cassie had promised him a promotion. My father liked him. It was a shock for my father to learn what my sister and he had done.”
    “I’ll bet. Your sister was quite a piece of work, I guess.”
    “She was very intelligent, always far ahead in her schoolwork.”
    “Lots of crazy people are intelligent,” Ethan said.
    I was afraid of his thinking Cassie was crazy. Most people believe that if there’s one mentally ill person in the family, there is the possibility of another or that the mental illness will poke its ugly head up sometime in the future. It makes you more self-conscious about everything you do, wondering always if it will cause people to think you, too, are showing signs of some psychological problem.
    Later, when we pulled onto the Collier campus, I asked him if he was still planning on coming to my graduation ceremony. He had said that he wanted to meet my father and my uncle Perry. I told him that I had told my father about him. There was no conflict with his own graduation ceremonies.
    “Sure,” he said. “You take it easy this week. I’ll call you during the week. I don’t think I can get over here, because I still have lots to do myself.”
    “Okay.” I held on to his hand. “I didn’t mean to keep it all a secret from you, Ethan. It’s not easy for me to tell anyone about it.”
    “I understand.”
    He leaned over to kiss me. It was already a different kiss, the sort of kiss a friend gives a friend or a relative gives a relative. There wasn’t even a trace of passion in it. His lips flicked on mine and were gone. I hardly had time to close my eyes and savor the taste of his love.
    I got out quickly. He waved and drove off. My heart felt like a brick of lead in my chest. With myhead down, I walked into the dormitory and toward my and Ellie’s room. I was immediately surprised by laughter and loud music. When I paused at our doorway, I saw Pam Dorfman, Natalie Roberts, Ellie, and Cara Allen smoking what was clearly pot. Natalie was drinking something obviously alcoholic from a paper cup and dancing. Cara was standing on my bed, and Pam was wearing my beret.
    “What’s going on?” I asked.
    “Party time, Norma,” Natalie said, laughing.
    “My name’s not Norma. Ellie, what are you doing?”
    “Mrs. Hingle’s brother just died. She had to leave for Delaware, and Mrs. Hathaway has no one to assign. She was here an hour ago to tell us we had better behave and follow all the rules until Mrs. Hingle returns or she finds someone qualified. So . . .” She held out her arms. “We’re behaving.”
    They all laughed.
    “Are you crazy? Someone will tell Mrs. Hathaway what’s going on. Why are you doing this in my room?”
    “It’s my room, too. If you don’t want a joint, I’ve got some other good stuff,” she said showing me the two bottles of tequila. “It wasn’t difficult to get, if you know what I mean. How was your day with Ethan? You’re back early, aren’t you? Are you going out again? You’re Mrs. Hathaway’s new darling, so you’re on the honor system. Just sign the clipboard on the desk out front,” she said. “I’m still confined to the barracks but making the best of it.” They all laughed.
    “No. I’m not going out again, but I was hoping to do some studying. We have two finals on Monday, Ellie.”
    “What?”
    “Turn down the music.”
    “What did she say?” Pam asked Ellie, pretending not to hear me. “Something about Monday?”
    “Take off my hat!” I shouted at her. She shrugged and tossed it like a Frisbee at the closet. “I want my room back.”
    “Chill out,” Natalie said. “Or we’ll have to commit you. Where is the nearest psycho ward?” she asked Pam.
    “Ask her. She probably’s been there.”
    They all laughed again.
    “Get out!” I screamed.
    “Relax, Semantha,” Ellie