Heavenstone 02 - Secret Whispers

in with Lucille in her car. He made it sound as if that was some sort of honor.
    “Then you won’t be back until she comes home today?”
    “Yes,” he said, looking as if that fact had just occurred to him, too. “Unless your father starts back earlier, which I doubt,” he quickly added. “See you later.” He gave me a quick peck on the lips and hurried away.
    The realization that I would be spending most of my time alone now settled in when I finally did go down for breakfast. Doris had already gone upstairs to clean and restore Daddy and Lucille’s bedroom as well as Ethan’s. Mrs. Dobson tried to spend time with me, but she had her duties to perform as well and looked more concerned about them than ever.
    I pondered my future when I went out to the pool and sat on a chaise. Maybe Ethan was right. Maybe I should enroll in a nearby college, or maybe Uncle Perry was right, and I should go to work in his office. Daddy certainly didn’t pressure me to do anything. I could see the concern in his face when I described how uneventful and simple all that I had been doing was, but I could also see that he was afraid of stirring up some sleeping mental problem that would send me rushing back to Dr. Ryan for therapy. Morethan once, I had heard him tell Lucille, “She’ll find herself.”
    Was I really lost? Where does one begin looking for herself? I had often sat looking at family albums, searching for some clue in my younger face. Sometimes all of us looked like strangers, I thought. Even I looked like a stranger to myself. Mother had used to say she got her identity by being the other half of her marriage and running Heaven-stone. She had had great responsibility, but she had loved who and what she was. It identified her. Other women might be identified by their careers, she had said, but she was confident that most weren’t as content.
    I tried to develop an interest in some sort of career, breezing through descriptions of professions and jobs in a book I suspected Lucille had left lying around for just that purpose. Nothing filled me with any passion or enthusiasm. Maybe that was what Daddy meant by my being lost. I simply didn’t care which road I took or where it would lead.
    The only place my mind continually directed me was to my cousin’s home and my daughter. How, if ever, would I meet her? If I projected myself and her twenty years ahead, would that be when she would learn who I was? Would she have any interest in me then? Would she be angry that she had never been told the truth? Would she think her adopted parents would be terribly hurt if she showed the slightest interest in me? All of it played continuously in my mind, but lately, it was more intense. I was tempted to drive back to the Normans’ ranch and once again try to see my daughter.
    By mid-afternoon, I was feeling terribly sorry for myself, so much so that I almost missed the sound of someone crying when I returned to the house to change and have some lunch. I paused and listened. It was coming from the kitchen. I went to the door and listened harder. I could hear Mrs. Dobson trying to calm Doris. What terrible thing had happened in her family? I knocked so they would know I was there and entered. Both were sitting at the kitchenette and looked up, surprised. Both had been crying.
    “What’s wrong, Mrs. Dobson?” I asked. She looked at Doris and then back at me. “What is it?”
    “Mrs. Heaven-stone just informed us we’re terminated.”
    “Terminated? You mean . . . fired?”
    She nodded. “We’re being given two months’ salary, but we have to leave today.”
    “That can’t be so,” I said.
    “A messenger from the store just delivered this.”
    She pushed an envelope on the table in my direction. I stepped forward and pulled the letter out. It was on official Heaven-stone stationery. It did not offer any reason for the termination. It merely said, “Your services will no longer be required.”
    I shook my head in disbelief. “I had no idea.”
    “Neither did we,” Doris said. “Two months’ salary is fine, but it’s not going to be easy or even possible to get a job as good as this one. And what did we do to deserve this?” she cried, holding her arms up.
    “Now, now,” Mrs. Dobson said. “There’s no point in getting yourself sick over it.”
    Doris looked down.
    “I’m calling my father,” I said. “You just wait.”
    Mrs. Dobson smiled at me as if I were talking about going to Mars.
    “I am!” I