Hidden Talents

“Caleb, do you love me?”
    The question made him stop breathing for a good three or four seconds. She had a right to an answer, he thought. But he didn't have one for her. Desperation seized him. He couldn't lose her because of a few simple words.
    Give her the words. They're only words .
    She was the most important thing in his life. If he lost her, he would lose part of himself, the part that had learned to feel again.
    It was hopeless. He would kill for her, but he couldn't lie to her. It wouldn't be any good if he lied .
    “I don't know,” Caleb said starkly. He was starting to dematerialize again. He could actually feel it happening right there on the sofa.
    Serenity watched him. She looked like a creature of moonlight and magic who had been accidentally trapped in the harsh glare of the sun. She blinked once, twice, and then she smiled her fey smile.
    “No, I don't suppose you do know if you love me,” she said. “When was the last time someone told you that you were loved?”
    “I can't remember.” Why didn't she just answer his question? All he wanted was a simple answer. “What the hell does that have to do with this?”
    “Everything, I think. But it's not important now.” Serenity touched his cheek. “I love you, Caleb. But I can't leave Witt's End. Do you understand that? There are things I have to do here.”
    “I won't ask you to leave Witt's End.”
    “But you can't stay here forever,” she said sadly. “I've known that from the beginning.”
    “You're wrong. I can stay here as long as I want. Hell, that's the least of the problems. I can run Ventress Ventures from here.”
    “You can?”
    “This is the age of computers and fax machines, remember?” he said impatiently. “I can set up shop anywhere.”
    “But would you want to stay here?” she asked.
    “Are you crazy?” he whispered. “Why would I want to leave? This is the one place on earth where I've ever felt completely alive.”
    “ Caleb .” She threw herself into his arms and hugged him fiercely. “Yes. Yes, I'll marry you, if that's what you want.”
    He could breathe again. He crushed her so tightly against him that she gave a tiny squeak that was half laughter and half protest.
    “Sorry,” he muttered into her hair. He loosened his grip slightly, but not much. The warmth and scent of her caused a welter of indefinable emotions to sweep through him. He didn't care what the sensations were or whether or not they were affecting his logic. The important thing was that they were there and they were strong and he could feel them.
    He was no ghost.
    He was alive. He had a future.
    He had Serenity.

17

    Y OU'RE GOING TO MARRY HIM ?” Z ONE DROPPED THE LID on a large barrel of whole wheat flour back into place and swung sharply around. Her orange and saffron robes flared wide, echoing her agitation. “Serenity, what are you talking about? Why would you want to marry Caleb?”
    “Because I love him.” Serenity dusted off a row of jars containing blackstrap molasses. “And he loves me. He just doesn't know it yet.”
    “If he doesn't know it, don't you think it might be a bit premature to marry him?”
    “Probably.” Serenity moved down the aisle to wield her duster over an array of noodle packages. “But I don't think I can wait.”
    Zone stared at her. “Are you pregnant?”
    “No.”
    “Then why can't you wait?”
    “It's little hard to explain, Zone.” Even to herself . She knew she was taking a risk by trying to second-guess Caleb's true feelings.
    Unfortunately, it had become very clear that Caleb himself wasn't very good at identifying and dealing with his own emotions. She suspected that he had spent too many years learning to distance himself from his own needs in an effort to satisfy his family's endless demands, too many years fulfilling his responsibilities to the name of Ventress. He didn't fully comprehend the nature of his responsibility to himself.
    The years spent paying for the sins of his parents had left him with a bone-deep distrust of his own desire to love and be loved. She didn't think he even comprehended the real meaning of the word, at least not in the same way that she understood it.
    But Caleb's failure to define love properly did not mean that he didn't have a hidden talent for it, Serenity thought optimistically. She had sensed it in him from the first. It was, after all, one of the things that had drawn her to him at the start of their relationship.
    This morning she was