Honored Vow

to even be talking about this,” Justin sighed.
    “Do you even want to be semel-aten and live in Sobek?”
    “I don’t, no, but there are probably choices I don’t know about yet
    that the priest will make me aware of if I actually win.”
    “I have no doubt that you’ll win,” he told him. “You’re the strongest
    semel I know, and all your men, your maahes, your mate… you’ll win.”
    Logan stepped into him without permission, all the rules gone
    suddenly, just two old friends saying good-bye. Justin smiled as he was
    grabbed tight and hugged Logan back just as hard.
    I cleared my throat, and all eyes were on me. “May I make apologies
    to your sheseru?” I asked Justin.
    In answer, he stepped aside, and I was faced with Sean Li.
    “I’m so sorry, sheseru of the tribe of Qebui, I did not mean to—”
    “Reah,” he interrupted me, having lifted his hand. “I learned a great
    deal about myself this night. When I shifted, I didn’t lie on the floor
    gasping and flailing as did others; I did not have to be held down by my
    semel. I shifted, yes, but I held to my duty even in the shift. I have far
    more control than others have credited me with having. Thank you for
    showing me that there is still more to learn and ways I may better myself.
    We all have power inside that needs training.”
    “Yes.” I smiled at him, bowing low.

    Honored Vow

    85

    When I rose, I saw him smile in return. I watched him shake hands
    with Yuri and Domin and Artem and realized again, as I had in Sobek
    when I had first met Justin Cho, that Logan’s friend was very similar to
    him, and the men he chose were much like my mate’s, strong and kind and
    gifted. Watching Justin and Sean walk away together, I saw the same easy
    camaraderie that Logan shared with both his sheseru and his sylvan in
    private moments.
    “Where’s the damn gate?” Yuri grumbled. “I wanna go home.”
    “Me too,” Domin said with a nod, yawning as he lifted his head to
    scan the list of departures.
    Yuri smiled at him, and put a hand on his shoulder. Domin’s in
    return, warm, gentle, was a surprise.
    “This way.” Artem pointed before he led us toward the gate.
    It was like the whole horrible trip had never happened. We all ate
    together at the airport and then sat in the boarding area and waited. My
    mate spoke to his brother on the phone, wished him well, hoped that they
    would still hear from him on occasion, and told him that if he ever wanted
    to return to the tribe, the door was always open.
    “You didn’t want to see Russ?” I asked Logan afterward.
    “I don’t anymore,” he told me honestly as we were boarding. “I’m
    the semel of my tribe, and basically Russ has told me that not only does he
    not want to belong to me, but he doesn’t want to belong anywhere. The
    part of me that is related to him will accept his decision, but it’s a slap in
    the face, Jin, and I can’t pretend that it’s okay. A tribe is your family, and
    his choice is not to have one. What use can I have for him?”
    It was cold and harsh, but I understood it too. Logan was the leader
    of his tribe, and Russ didn’t want to belong. What more could there be
    between them?
    Even when Crane and I had been traveling together from one part of
    the country to another, neither of us had ever thought to ask for the status
    of duat. I could not imagine never shifting, and Crane had never given up
    his dream of belonging to another tribe. I had wanted nothing to do with
    being a panther, but even then, I had still peeled off all my clothes and
    gone running in the night. I had lied to myself years ago when I had told
    myself that I hated being a werepanther. I had never hated the shift; I had

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    Mary Calmes

    hated being an unclaimed reah. Ruslan Church truly wanted to be nothing
    but human; I hoped his decision made him happy.
    “I hope one day Russ will embrace his heritage like you did once
    you found your place in the tribe, but he is allowed to make the decision to
    never return if that’s what he wants. I would never ask anyone in my
    family or my tribe to live by a law that they didn’t believe in. My purpose
    is to guide and nurture and keep everyone safe, not to punish.”
    I stared up at his profile, looking my fill of him.
    “What?” he asked, noticing my fixed regard after a moment.
    “I love you very much,” I told him, my eyes swimming.
    “Yeah, I know.” He smiled, hand on my shoulder as he followed me
    into the cabin of the