Honored Vow

touch. “That’s okay, everything’s okay.”
    He nodded, put his hand over mine, and pressed my palm against his
    cheek as he opened his eyes. “You’re gonna be okay, right? You seem
    okay.”
    “I’ll be fine, I promise.”

    108

    Mary Calmes

    The sepat for us would begin in eight weeks, but for Logan it would
    start on Friday. Members of the Shu would arrive to take him to Mongolia.
    He would spend the next two months in grueling training that was meant
    to strip him of his humanity and leave only the animal. The maahes of
    each semel was there to interfere if a semel was close to death and report
    to the mate of their semel. He was also to be the one to report if the leader
    was killed during the preparation for the sepat. The maahes had no other
    function, no voice.
    “The trial of the heart has more or less two parts. So when you first
    see me, in my werepanther form, after I’ve shifted back from panther,
    that’s supposed to test the bond between the semel and his household.”
    I just smiled at him.
    “I’ll be a savage the next time you lay eyes on me; I’ll be altered
    and angry.”
    “I know.”
    “The priest said that there is strength training and punishment, and
    that you shift into panther form when you arrive and are not allowed to
    become human again until the day your household joins you after the trial
    of the heart.”
    I nodded.
    “I’ll be more animal than man when you see me next.”
    “I know.”
    He took a breath, taking both my hands in his. “The point is to test
    the bond even if I am not the same man you know.”
    “Yuri and Mikhail and I won’t fail you.”
    “I know you won’t, especially you, but you have to forgive me now
    for whatever I do then. It won’t be me, and you have to remember that.”
    “You would never hurt me, Logan, it’s not in you.”
    “But I’ll be so hungry for you by then.” He took a breath. “You have
    to forgive me.”
    I had more faith in the man than he had in himself.
    “Please, Jin, don’t abandon me, no matter what.”
    “I won’t, I can’t.”
    “Eight weeks without me,” he sighed, “and you leaking power. The
    timing is shit.”
    “I’ll be fine.”

    Honored Vow

    109

    “I want you to miss me because that will smother the nekhene
    instinct to run or to look for another.”
    “You’re the only mate I’ll ever have.”
    “I know that,” he said matter-of-factly, “but the wild creature that
    lives inside of you doesn’t.”
    “Then I’ll teach it.”
    “I will educate the nekhene cat,” he promised, bending to kiss me.
    It was not gentle; he ground his mouth down over mine and ravaged
    my lips, put his hands on me until I was writhing in his arms, pressing
    against him, whimpering with need. When he shoved me back, I yelled at
    him.
    “You see that,” he told me, his voice low and sultry. “I’m what you
    want, only me. Don’t forget it.”
    He turned and walked away, and I had a tremendous urge to follow,
    but my desire died a second later when Crane poked his head out of the
    kitchen and said he was ready to drive to Reno. The need to nurture and
    protect drowned all else, but still, I needed my mate too. It would have to
    be a shorter trip than what I had originally planned. I didn’t want to miss
    spending any time I could with Logan.

    110

    Mary Calmes

    Chapter Ten

    THE priest had told Logan a week, but when Crane and I returned home, I
    found out that the priest had purposely lied, part of the sepat to catch us
    off balance. Yuri explained, haltingly, that my mate was gone, along with
    my maahes. They had come for them both, and all I had to hold me was
    the kiss I had given my mate when I was leaving.
    “I’m so sorry you weren’t here,” Crane whispered.
    “It’s not your fault,” I told him even though my heart hurt.
    “We need to concentrate on getting ready for the sepat,” Mikhail told
    me and Yuri and everyone else, including Danny, in the living room. “Jin,
    you need to tell us everything you know.”
    I explained about the challenges and asked Danny to please chime in
    if I missed anything. He seemed pleased at being included.
    The first test, the one of blood, was for the sheseru. Yuri would be
    placed in a locked cage with between five and ten shifted panthers that he
    had never met or even seen before, and with only the strength of his
    station, he would have to make them submit to him. They would have to
    roll over and present their stomachs, their midlines,