Human Remains

minutes. I thought it would be longer than that.’
    ‘What did they say?’
    I kept him in suspense for a little while longer while I went to the counter and got us both another drink.
    ‘They’re going to phone me when they’ve reached their decision,’ I said, sitting down.
    ‘They should be giving you some sort of good citizen award, Annabel, not putting you through all this stress. How’s Audrey?’
    Audrey was staying at her parents’ house for the time being. To my surprise, as well as hers, probably, we’d become quite good friends. Physically she had recovered well, but she was not sleeping and was suffering from regular panic attacks. Not having to worry about going to work while I was suspended pending the disciplinary investigation, I had been visiting her every day. Sam had come with me once or twice, but we could both tell that Audrey wasn’t comfortable with him being there.
    ‘Vaughn phoned while I was there.’
    ‘Oh?’
    ‘He wants to go and see her. She’s not having any of it.’
    ‘I guess she probably blames him, somehow. Poor bloke. Bad at choosing his friends.’
    This morning she had been dressed, in jeans and a T-shirt that was too big for her, but it was still a step up from the grubby dressing gown. She’d washed her hair.
    ‘Wow,’ I’d said. ‘We going out somewhere?’
    She’d looked briefly panic-stricken, and then she’d smiled at me. When she smiled, she looked so different. She was the sort of girl who would have been way too cool to associate with me at school, or at work, for that matter. She would have been friends with Kate and the rest of them, and would never have paid me any attention. When I’d thought about that, I’d asked her mum if she really thought Audrey wanted me to come round and visit, or if she just felt sorry for me.
    ‘Oh, no,’ she’d replied. ‘Please don’t stop coming. Audrey’s completely in awe of you. She says you’re the bravest and strongest person she knows.’
    ‘Audrey’s not too bad,’ I said to Sam. ‘She was even dressed today. I’m hoping she’ll want to come out of the house soon.’
    ‘That’s good news. Has she said any more about what happened?’
    She had told me some of it. I knew Sam wouldn’t print anything about it unless he had permission to do so, although he was desperate to do it. It was almost as though he wanted to take his revenge on Colin using the best method at his disposal. But he was silenced by his own moral code, and by the fact that printing the details of Audrey’s captivity would prejudice a future trial.
    ‘She’s getting there. She needs time.’
    He had tried to do whatever it was he did to me – hypnotise her, brainwash her, whatever it was – but it hadn’t worked, he’d had no mental control over her and so he had kept her locked up. She’d felt as though she was being disposed of. She had been afraid of closing her eyes and sleeping, in case she woke up to find him there. Or in case she never woke up at all.
    Sam drank his cappuccino, recognising that I wasn’t going to say more. ‘So, when they ring you, is that the end of it?’
    ‘I guess so. Either I get the boot, or I go back to work.’
    ‘Well, at least it means you can come on holiday with us. If you’re back at work tomorrow you can put in a leave request, can’t you?’
    He’d been pressing me on this for the last fortnight. They were going to stay in a cottage in Devon for a week over the Christmas period, booked last year. Only two bedrooms, but Sam was going to sleep on the sofa if I came along. I needed a holiday, Irene insisted.
    What I need is to go home and start sorting out my life,
I thought.
    ‘I really don’t think I can come with you,’ I said. ‘It’s a very kind offer. But I have so much I need to do. And I can’t leave Audrey.’
    ‘As you said, she’s getting better. One week won’t make a difference. Everything you need to do will all still be here when we get back.’
    We needed to have that conversation, the one that had been hanging over us ever since he’d arranged my move into the spare room. I’d been putting it off and hoping the problem would go away, but it was getting worse.
    ‘Sam,’ I began. God, this was awkward. ‘I don’t really understand. I just don’t know… what it is you want from me?’
    ‘I don’t want anything,’ he said, cheerfully.
    ‘I mean – I don’t know. We’re friends, right?’
    ‘Yes, of course.’
    ‘Nothing else? I just –