Idiopathy

argument.’
    She shrugged. ‘So don’t say anything back,’ she said. ‘Just get your coat.’
    It was easier, at times like this, to go along with what Katherine said. Her attention span and ability to commit were limited; her enthusiasm quickly exhausted. Often it was not so much the execution of the idea itself that mattered so much as Daniel’s hypothetical willingness to give the idea a go. Frequently, in Daniel’s experience, a notion such as this one would take them as far as the pub for one drink and then, with Katherine satisfied that Daniel was indeed prepared to go with her, they could simply return home refreshed.
    On this particular evening, of course, that was not the case, because standing in the corner of the bar, alone and staring oddly, knocking back what was very clearly not his first Guinness of the evening, was the living embodiment both of Daniel’s nightmare-man and of Katherine’s dream-object of oddness: a hulking, bearded, heavily tattooed bear of a man-boy with a glint in his eye that spoke of, if not actual danger, then at least a pleasing (to Katherine) degree of risk, which presented the perfect opportunity to test the extent of Daniel’s love for her through an exploration of the limits of his commitment.
    ‘Go and talk to him,’ she instructed Daniel once he’d bought her a drink.
    ‘Fuck that,’ offered Daniel.
    ‘We came here to talk to people and that’s who I want to talk to.’
    ‘Well go and talk to him then.’
    ‘He’ll think I’m trying to chat him up. You go and talk to him.’
    ‘What if he thinks I’m trying to chat him up?’
    Katherine laughed.
    ‘It wouldn’t be funny,’ said Daniel.
    ‘If you loved me,’ said Katherine, ‘you’d go over there and talk to him.’
    ‘If you loved me,’ said Daniel, ‘you wouldn’t be so keen to see me get my sodding head kicked in.’
    ‘If you loved
me
,’ said Katherine, ‘you’d do anything to make me happy.’
    Of course, throughout these little bartering moments of one-upmanship there was always the question, for Daniel at least, of why precisely he felt the need to go along with them given that they frequently turned on some potential for his humiliation or harm. The answer, which he only ever touched on long after the incident in question was over, when he would lie awake at night and fume both at Katherine and himself for ever going along with her in the first place, was that he wanted to be loved just as much as Katherine and, further, that he wanted to be the kind of man who was capable of loving and being loved, in the kind of relationship where such things were valued, unlike, of course (and he always felt this conclusion needed a sarcastic drum roll, such was the sheer extent of its obviousness), his parents. There, he always said to himself just after thinking this,
I’ve said it
.
    On top of all this was the further fact that Daniel looked up to Katherine. He felt lucky to have somehow persuaded her to be with him (despite the fact that he hadn’t had to persuade her, a fact that contributed both to his unease and to his willingness to persuade her whenever she asked now, which she did pretty regularly precisely because she was very aware of how little persuading he’d had to do in the early stages); and such was the extent to which Katherine both knew this and reminded him of it, Daniel actually came to believe that he needed to do these things to hang on to a woman he still, despite everything, loved and needed, because as everyone knew a relationship meant work and sacrifice and all the other honourable yet bad-faith traits Daniel associated not just with intimacy but with adulthood in general.
    ‘What shall I say?’ said Daniel.
    Katherine thought for some time, going over possibilities that might avoid Daniel coming off as creepy or dangerous (although the thought of Daniel coming off as dangerous was so comic as to be faintly tempting in its absurdity). Ultimately, the answer was obvious.
    ‘Go over there,’ she said, ‘and ask him for some drugs.’
    And Daniel, against whatever remained at the time of his better judgement, had gone over there and asked him for some drugs, and in doing so had found himself surprised at how mild-mannered Nathan seemed, and how willing to talk to a stranger, and so had asked Katherine over, and had arranged a time to buy some grass, on which occasion he’d hung around a bit and had a joint with Nathan, after which they felt like they owed