Idiopathy

remembered marvelling at the stillness, yet also feeling a pervasive sense of loss. Nathan had always brought motion; kinesis. It’s what Daniel looked to him for. Speed. The pulse of change. Seeing him so still, lost in all the motion he’d created, Daniel had known that something was over. He felt it again now as he drove. That sense of spinning to stand still. He wondered if it was merely a coincidence that, mere months after Nathan had vanished, he’d met Angelica. Without Nathan, it seemed, he and Katherine had unravelled all the more rapidly.
    Arriving home, walking in the door, he found Sebastian sitting at the dining table.
    ‘Putting in the hours, eh?’ said Sebastian.
    ‘I think most people finish around six, don’t they?’ said Daniel, easing slightly awkwardly behind Sebastian’s chair in order to get to Angelica and kiss her.
    ‘
Most people
,’ said Sebastian tartly. ‘They do all sorts of things.’
    ‘Hello darling,’ said Daniel to Angelica. ‘How are you?’
    ‘Sebastian’s going national with his protest,’ said Angelica. ‘Love you my sweet.’
    ‘Love you too,’ said Daniel, kissing her again and stealing a glance at Sebastian. He felt a surge of satisfaction. Sebastian could go as national as he liked, so long as he was no longer camped out in the car park.
    ‘Daniel’s really been getting in touch with his affectionate side,’ said Angelica to Sebastian.
    ‘Great,’ said Sebastian, a little thrown. ‘Although of course I question the word
affection
.’
    ‘Oh that’s just Angelica being euphemistic,’ said Daniel, beaming at Sebastian. ‘I think it’s only natural, sadly natural you might say, the urge to downplay a passion as relentless and thoroughgoing as ours. Don’t you think, dear?’
    Angelica was looking at him with her mouth slightly open. ‘Well, yes,’ she said, widening her eyes a little.
    ‘But you must feel the same, Sebastian, no? I mean such is your love for Plum that you must just fall on your knees daily and tell her that you worship her and adore her and that you’re basically her slave. Right?’
    ‘Right,’ said Sebastian.
    ‘So,’ said Daniel, pulling a chair out from the table and sinking back into it with a satisfied sigh. ‘The cows.’
    ‘Um, yeah,’ said Sebastian, faltering slightly before rallying. ‘We’re going on the road to defend the cows.’
    ‘This cull has got completely out of hand,’ said Angelica. ‘Sebastian was just explaining that in Thailand for example they actually nurse their livestock back to health.’
    ‘There hasn’t been any BIE in Thailand,’ said Daniel flatly. ‘It’s just the UK.’
    ‘No, but it’s the principle,’ said Sebastian.
    ‘Not really. They’re dealing with different diseases. The difference in response reflects that.’
    ‘You can’t just kill a whole race of creatures,’ said Sebastian, sucking his lips briefly over his teeth as if to imply barely contained emotion. ‘I mean, have we learnt nothing from Auschwitz?’
    ‘Cattle aren’t a race,’ said Daniel. ‘They’re a species.’
    ‘Still,’ said Sebastian. ‘It’s an essentially fascist response.’
    ‘So who’s Hitler?’
    ‘We’re
all
Hitler,’ said Sebastian meaningfully.
    ‘Then who are you demonstrating against? Yourself?’
    ‘I think you’re using a very limited definition of protest.’
    ‘What’s your definition?’
    ‘I possibly wouldn’t use the word protest at all.’
    ‘What word would you use?’
    Sebastian thought for several seconds. ‘Action,’ he said finally.
    ‘That’s a great word,’ said Angelica.
    ‘So who are you taking action against?’ said Daniel.
    ‘Why does action have to be
against
anyone? Why can’t it just …
be
?’
    ‘OK. So what’s the
nature
of your action, and what is it motivated by?’
    ‘The nature of our action is essentially pacifist and ecological and it’s motivated by a deep concern for and …’ Sebastian raised a finger in the air and leaned forward, punctuating his point, ‘
empathy with
every living creature on this planet.’
    ‘You empathise with every living creature on this planet?’
    ‘We are
all
one creature.’
    ‘So we’re putting
ourselves
into Auschwitz?’
    ‘Yes, but we don’t realise it.’
    ‘So, you’re taking action against ourselves to stop ourselves putting ourselves into a death camp?’
    Sebastian looked at Daniel a very long time.
    ‘Daniel’s in one of those moods,’ said Angelica. Then, as a