I'll Be Here

foot in the air nearly toppling off the bench.  Then I see that it’s just Lance and the shriek on the tip of my tongue morphs into a laugh. 
    “Jesus.  You scared the crap out of me Lance!  You’re lucky that I didn’t hurt myself or your ass would have been grass!”  I nudge him with my arm and take the crumpled brown paper bag that he’s offering me.  It smells heavenly.  I put my sketchbook down so that I won’t get grease on the pages.
    “Is that so?”  Lance takes a massive bite of his gyro to show to me just how little I scare him.  Lamb juice dribbles down his chin.  Gross.
    I turn back to Alex and he’s looking between me and Lance like he’s working out what’s going on.  “Alex, this is Lance.  Lance—Alex.”
    Lance turns his head to me with one eyebrow cocked up.  The look clearly says, so this is the guy. 
    Awwk-waard. 
    Peeling back the waxy paper, I take a bite of the vegetarian wrap that Lance brought to avoid having to referee this exchange.  It’s delicious.
    Alex raises his hand and I note that his shoulders are weirdly stiff.  “Hi.”
    “Nice to meet you man.”  Lance nods his head because his hands are occupied with the gyro.  “You’re at State, right?”
    The question throws Alex but only for a second.  He nods and Lance starts asking questions about college life.  Alex responds but his mind is somewhere else.  I can tell that he’s thinking hard and if I had to make an informed guess, I would say that he’s wondering how Lance knows who he is and whether us being here together means anything. 
    Or maybe he thinks that Lance is actually more than just a friend.  Lance is seriously hot and for a second it’s enticing to go along with the charade, but the truth is that I don’t want Alex to think of me that way. 
    Alex’s gaze is direct and I force an uncomfortable smile.  He doesn’t smile back. 
    Oh Lawwdy . 
    Lance swallows and shoves the last of his gyro into his mouth with two fingers.  He touches the inside of my wrist.  “Willow, we should go find Laney and Colleen and everyone before they get sucked into a swirling vortex of groupies and we never see them again.”
    “Sure.”  I want to say something more to Alex.  He’s standing there with his hands in his pockets looking unsettled and I’m not sure what to do about it.  His furrowed brow is only accentuated by the silver eyebrow ring reflecting the bright sunlight. 
    Lance notices Alex’s demeanor too. 
    “I’m gay.”  He blurts out in this oh-I’m-going-to-wash-my-hair tone.  Alex’s eyes pop wide. 
    I let out a strangled choking noise and Lance automatically hits me on the back thinking that I’ve got a piece of the veggie wrap lodged in my throat.
    I sputter and cough.
    They’re both asking me if I’m okay and I lift my hand between coughs to show that I am not choking though I may still be in danger of death by mortification.  My eyes are watery and my face feels like it’s on fire.
    I can not believe Lance.  When we get out of sight I am going to strangle his tree trunk neck with my bare hands.  He wisely senses this and scrunches up his face. 
    “Okay then…”  He says and slinks away into the crowd before I fully catch my breath.  The last thing he does is call out to me over his broad shoulder.  “Stage four!”
    Alex is bent down over me and he puts his palm on my back.  I take a deep breath. 
    “You sure you’re all right?”  He looks genuinely concerned. 
    I nod and swallow again.  “Sorry.  I think I momentarily forgot how to chew.” 
    The place where his hand is resting on my back burns even through the fabric of my shirt and I have to focus so that my heavy breathing doesn’t give too much away.  Hopefully he thinks that the flush on my face and my racing pulse has more to do with the fact that I’ve just been choking and absolutely nothing to do with his close proximity. 
    I straighten and turn.  We’re so close that I can see the way his nostrils shrink and stretch when he breathes in and out.  His chin has that dark stubble like he hasn’t shaved in a few days and I think about what it would feel like against my hand—like sandpaper or would it be softer?
    My lips part and I wonder if we’re sharing the same air.  Then I worry about how awful my breath must be after eating that wrap.  There was definitely garlic in it. 
    I don’t worry long because Alex remembers himself and steps away.  I feel the