In Death 29 - Kindred in Death

her or clear her throat. Then the smile spread, and Mira sighed deeply.
    “God! What a gorgeous day. I so rarely get to take advantage of a spectacular morning like this.” Mira lifted her shoulders, then let them fall in a kind of happy shrug. “I have to thank you for pulling me outside.”
    “Well, I’m glad there’s an upside. I didn’t have time to go downtown and back. We’re pushing hard on this.”
    “Understood. The age of the victim and the connection to a police officer make it a priority. Can we speak here?”
    “Yeah.” Eve sat beside her. “You read the file.”
    “Yes.” Mira touched her hand briefly to Eve’s, a gesture they both knew acknowledged the painful memories of Eve’s childhood. “Would you have taken this case if MacMasters hadn’t asked for you specifically?”
    “I don’t cherry-pick assignments.” The sharp tone, the defensive-ness in it, caught Eve off guard. She shook it off. “If I can’t handle what comes to me,” she said, “I don’t deserve the badge. That’s that.”
    “For you, yes, I agree. Not with the philosophy, but with your belief in it. She’s lucky to have you—Deena—because you understand what she faced in those last hours of her life.”
    “It’s not the same.”
    “No, it’s never the same. And, conversely, it’s precisely the same. I need to ask before we discuss the case, about your nightmares and flashbacks. I need to ask,” Mira repeated, gently, when Eve’s face went blank. “If this case exacerbates them—”
    “It’s not. It won’t. They’re not as bad.” Dragging a hand through her hair, Eve struggled to put annoyance at the personal queries aside. Mira was right, she admitted, the question needed to be asked. “I still have them, but they’re not as . . . severe,” she decided. “They’re not as frequent or as intense. I think I’ve come to a place—I don’t know—it happened, and nothing can change what he did to me. But I stopped him. If I go back, in the nightmares, I can stop him again if I have to. He doesn’t have the power anymore. I do.”
    “Yes.” Mira’s smile was as brilliant as the sunlight, and again she laid her hand over Eve’s. “You do.”
    “I can’t stop the nightmares, but I can handle them better now. They’re not a dance in a meadow, which I don’t get anyway. Why is dancing in a meadow with all that tall grass hiding whatever’s slinking around under it, and the bugs flying around your head such a fun deal?”
    “Hmm” was the best Mira could think of.
    “What I mean is I don’t look forward to getting jerked around by my subconscious, but it doesn’t kick my ass nightly, not anymore.”
    “I’m glad to hear it. Very glad.”
    “I had a few moments, looking at Deena, at what was done to her, that had me a little shaky. But I got through it. It won’t affect my ability to lead the investigation.”
    “I’d worry about your ability to lead the investigation if you weren’t touched in some way by what was done to her.”
    Eve said nothing for a few moments. “And you brought this up, pushed it, so I could get it out. So I wouldn’t have it sneaking around in the back of my mind.”
    Mira gave Eve’s hand a quick pat. “Did it work?”
    “Apparently.”
    “Well, good for me. And you. And Deena.”
    “Okay.” Done, Eve thought. For now. “Did you review the video?”
    “Yes. Particularly cruel, isn’t it? To force the girl to say those things, to intend the father to hear them, to show, graphically to the father the result.”
    “No question it was a message to MacMasters.”
    “No, none. It was all a message. The location, the use of police restraints, the method, and even the length of time the killer spent. Hours.”
    “He enjoyed it,” Eve commented. “He enjoyed stretching it out.”
    “Undoubtedly. But more, it’s a form of bragging. An in-your-face gesture. I did this to what you loved, in your own home, and I took my time.”
    “He made her suffer, wanted MacMasters to know she’d suffered, that he’d had total power over her.”
    “The rapes are another form of that power, and that message. I violated her, hurt her, humiliated her, terrified her, took her innocence before I took her life.” Mira shifted, angling toward Eve. “And he did so by first charming and dazzling her, making her feel something for him, believe he felt something for her.”
    “It hurts more that way.” Eve studied the students strolling or jogging by.