Island of the Sequined Love Nun

future and failure, when he had been failing just fine already?
    "You can't sleep?" the mate said.
    Pardee hadn't heard the wiry sailor move to the rail. He was drinking a Bud tallboy, against regulations, and Pardee felt a craving twist like a worm in his chest at the sight of the can.
    "You got another one of those?"
    The mate reached into the deep front pocket of his shorts, pulled out another beer, and handed it to Pardee. It was warm, but Pardee popped the top and drank off half of it in one gulp.
    "How long before we make Alualu?" Pardee asked.
    "Three, maybe four hour. Sunrise. We drop you on north side of island, you swim in."
    "What?" Pardee looked down to the black waves, then back at the mate.
    "The doctor no let anyone go on the island except to bring cargo. You have to swim in on other side of island. Maybe half mile, maybe less."
    "How will I get back to the ship?"
    "Captain say he will swing back around the island when we leave. Captain say he wait half an hour. You swim back out. We pick you up."
    "Can't you send a boat?"
    "No boat. No break in reef except on south side where we unload. We have many fuel barrel and crates. You will have seven, maybe eight hour."
    Pardee had seen the Spirit arrive in Truk lagoon a thousand times; the ship was always surrounded by outboards and canoes filled with excited natives. "Maybe I can get one of the Shark People to ferry me." He did not want to get in that water, and he certainly didn't want to swim half a mile to shore, wasn't sure he could.
    "Shark People no have boat. They no leave island."
    "No boats?" Pardee was amazed. Living in these islands without a boat was akin to living in Los Angeles without a car. It wasn't done; it couldn't be done.
    The mate patted Pardee's big shoulder. "You be fine. I have mask and fins for you."
    "What about sharks?"
    "Sharks afraid around there. On most island people afraid of shark. On Alualu shark afraid of people."
    "You're sure about that?"
    "No."
    "Oh, good. Do you have another beer?"
    Three hours later the rising sun lay like a silver tray on the horizon and Jefferson Pardee was having swim fins duct-taped to his feet by the first mate. The deck bustled with excited natives eating rice balls and taro paste, smoking cigarettes, shifting over the railings, and milling around the ship's store, trying to buy Cokes and Planter's cheese balls, Australian corned beef, and, of course, Spam. A small crowd had gathered around to watch the white man prepare for his swim. Pardee stood in his boxer shorts, maggot white except for his forearms and face, which looked like they'd been dipped in red team paint. The mate stuffed Pardee's clothes and notebook into a garbage bag and handed it to him, then slathered the journalist with waterproof sunscreen, a task on par with basting a hippo. Pardee snarled at a group of giggling children and they ran off down the deck screaming.
    Pardee heard the ship's big screws grind to a halt and the mate unhooked a chain gate set in the railing. "Jump," he said.
    Pardee looked at the crystal water forty feet below. "You're out of your fucking mind. Don't you have a ladder?"
    "You can't climb ladder with fins."
    "I'll take the fins off until I get in the water."
    "No. Straps broken. You have to jump."
    Pardee shook his head and the flesh on his shoulders and back followed suit. "It's not gonna happen."
    Suddenly the children Pardee had frightened came running around the bridge like a squealing pack of piglets. Two little boys broke formation and ran toward the journalist, who looked around just as he felt four tiny brown hands impact with his back.
    Pardee saw sky, then water, then sky, then the island of Alualu laying on the sea like a bad green toupee, then the impact with the water took his breath, ripped the mask from his face, and forced streams of brine into his sinuses strong enough to bring blood.
    Before he could even find the surface, he heard the ship's screws begin to grind as the Micro Spirit steamed away.

    Two excited boys shook Malink awake. "The ship is here and the Sorcerer is coming!" The old chief sat up on his grass sleeping mat and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He slept on the porch of his house, part of the stone foundation that had been there for eight hundred years. He stood on creaking morning legs and went to the bunch of red bananas that hung from the porch roof. He tore off two bananas and gave them to the boys.
    "Where did you see the Sorcerer?"
    "He comes across