Jimm Juree 01; Killed at the Whim of a Hat

back,” I said. “I think this might be the camera nobody lost.”
    I told him how and where I’d found it earlier that morning and that I wouldn’t mind at all if he took credit for its discovery. I expounded my theory that the mystery person who’d called asking if anyone had retrieved a forensic camera from the crime scene, might, in fact, have been the killer himself trying to find a camera dropped during the attack. I could only hint that the dogs may have frightened the killer away as I obviously couldn’t tell him I’d already looked at the photos.
    Major Mana looked decidedly unenthusiastic about my theory. He thanked me for bringing in the camera and gave me a brief lecture on the importance of not touching evidence, as if the plastic bag had been a stroke of luck on my part.
    “Should we take a look?” I asked. I felt that a journalist who’d recovered a camera should be excited about what was on it.
    “At what?” he said.
    “The pictures on the camera. They might be important.”
    “Ah, no. We need to process the camera first.”
    “Process it?”
    “Check it for fingerprints and trace elements, you know…blood, fluids. We don’t have those facilities so we’d need to send it to Lang Suan who in turn would take it to Chumphon.”
    “Aren’t you just a little bit curious to see what’s on it?” I asked. “You know, once you send it to Lang Suan they won’t share their findings with you.”
    “Of course they will.”
    “All you’d have to do is turn it on and take a look. You’d be perfectly justified.”
    “There’s certain…protocol.”
    “Really?”
    “I promise, as soon as Lang Suan reveals the contents of this camera I shall pass the information on to you. I haven’t forgotten our deal.”
    That pretty much confirmed that I wouldn’t be getting any useful inside information from my major. I thanked him for his cooperation and wai’d as I reversed out of the room and walked along the corridor to Chompu’s room. He was enjoying a morning pla tong go dough puff and coffee whose color confirmed its instantaneousness. He looked up and smiled.
    “My journalist. I’ve missed you. Doughnut?”
    I sat opposite him and broke off a limb of dough.
    “I wasn’t expecting you all to be in so early,” I confessed.
    “Are you joking? Two murder inquiries? The province has sent us oil tankers full of overtime money. We’re supposed to be on call. If Lang Suan needs a manicure or a change of light bulbs, we’ll be there. You watch.”
    “I just stopped off at the major’s office. He didn’t seem pleased to see me.”
    “You probably interrupted his Amway dealings. Direct sales of unwanted products for the discerning housewife.”
    “He sells Amway?”
    “Not a lot of income from bribes down here. He has to make his money in other dishonest ways.”
    “How was the crime lab?”
    “Useless and marvelous. How was Surat?”
    The creep. How could he possibly know I went to Surat?
    “If you’ve fitted a GPS device to the bottom of our truck I’ll – ”
    “Tsk, tsk, little scribe. I’ve had a requisition for staples in the system for three months. How long do you think it would take me to produce a tracking device? You really should stop watching all that televised American junk. It’s all made up, you know?”
    “Then how do you know I went to Surat? You’re starting to give me the willies, Lieutenant.”
    “It’s all very simple. Imagine a world where there are no strangers, where everybody is either related or acquainted.”
    I resisted aristocracy jokes.
    “It sounds unhealthy,” I told him.
    “But it exists. My mother has a girl who does the garden. The garden girl’s husband drives fish from Lang Suan to Surat. The owner of one of the restaurants he delivers to has a daughter who works on the Dairy Queen stand in front of Home Art Mega Store. I’ve had her observe the manager for me. Collect gossip from staff, that sort of thing.”
    “That doesn’t sound particularly ethical.”
    “Everybody wants to be police. I’m just letting them live out their fantasy. And my Dairy Queen police lady reported to me this morning that she’d observed a woman with a bad haircut accompanied by the Incredible Hulk go into the manager’s office yesterday afternoon and stay there for a very long time. She even took a picture on her cell phone. Technology continues to astound and frighten…You’re looking particularly depressed. Can I help?”
    “She said I