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stung him. My Queen had learned some few things about manipulating people herself since first she ascended the throne. “Majesty!” he said sharply. “We will.”
Thus were our plans laid. Ysandre dismissed the Azzallese to seek food and rest, leaving instructions with the Secretary of the Privy Purse that they were to be rewarded and our excursion generously funded. Joscelin and myself, she invited to take repast in the garden with her, which I was glad of, now being hungry for my interrupted breakfast.
The late morning sun lay like balm on the greening flora, twice the size of my own modest garden and three times as well tended. It was a rare moment of intimacy we shared with Ysandre over egg possets and the first early fruits of spring. There were few people in the realm that the Queen trusted implicitly. Of all the honors she has bestowed upon me, that is the one I cherish the most.
The Chamberlain of the Nursery brought Sidonie and Alais, Ysandre’s daughters, to greet their royal mother as she dined, and I must confess it was a pretty sight. The elder, Sidonie, was a grave girl, with a straight, shining fall of deep-gold hair and her father’s dark Cruithne eyes. I saw much of both parents in the young Dauphine, and less in her sister Alais, who was small and dark and prone to private mischief. It was she who clambered onto Joscelin’s lap, butting her curly head beneath his chin. Joscelin laughed and let her toy with the buckles on his vambraces. He was good with children, better than I.
Ysandre smiled with a mother’s resigned indulgence, stroking Sidonie’s shining hair as her eldest knelt beside her, absorbed in winding violet stems through the wrought iron of a table-leg. “Alais doesn’t take to most people thusly, my lord Cassiline. Mayhap you should consider fatherhood; you seem to have the knack of it.”
“Ah.” Joscelin slid his arm around the child, holding her in place as he reached for a dish of berries. “I’ve broken vows enough without insulting Cassiel’s grace, my lady.”
The Queen raised her fair brows at me, and I returned her gaze unblinking.
We had thought about it, of course; how not? But there was a truth to Joscelin’s words, and a deeper truth I did not voice to Ysandre. I have an ill-luck name, given me by a mother who knew a great deal about Naamah’s arts, and not much else. My lord Kushiel marked me as his own, and he has cast his Dart in places further and more deadly than I might have dreamed. Who is to say, if the dubious gift of an anguissette is hereditary? I have never heard that it is; nor have I heard it is not. I am what I am, and there is no point in regretting it. I daresay I would not have survived such adventures as have befallen me if it were not for my unique relationship with pain. Lypiphera , they named me on the island of Kriti; Pain-bearer.
Nonetheless, I had no desire to pass this dubious gift on to any child of my blood, and I had never invoked Eisheth’s blessing to open the gates of my womb. It is harder to watch another suffer than to endure it oneself. There are forms of pain even an anguissette will avoid. This was one of them.
“So be it,” Ysandre said gently, nodding at the Companion’s Star upon my breast. “I always thought you were saving your boon for your children, Phèdre. A duchy, a royal appointment; even a betrothal, mayhap. I have given my word.”
“No.” I fingered the brooch and shook my head, answering with honesty. “There is naught that I need or desire, my lady, save that which is not within your power to grant.” I smiled ruefully. We are gotten on the wrong side of godhead, we D’Angelines, and the One God has washed his hands of Blessed Elua’s descendants; not even a Queen can alter that fact. “Can you bring the dead to life, or give me the key to lock the One God’s vengeance? Aught else I might desire, you have laid at my disposal.”
“I would that it was more. My debt to you is great.” Ysandre rose and paced, pausing to gaze across the verdant expanse of her sanctum. No herbs here, but only flowers for her pleasure, lovingly cultivated by her gardeners. Near the gate, four of the Queen’s Guard loitered at their ease, at once relaxed and attentive, while the Chamberlain of the Nursery stood by and servants in the livery of House Courcel awaited to attend her pleasure. The Dauphine Sidonie sat cross-legged on the flagstones, humming as she wove a garland, and young Princess Alais
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