Kushiel's Dart

doorway. Her own Cassiline guards stood back, watching attentively, and occasionally stealing furtive looks at Joscelin, who ignored them.
    At last she halted, and asked in a tentative voice, quite unlike her usual cool tone, "It is true, then, that Drustan mab Necthana rules as Cruarch in Alba? Did he send any word for me?"
    So that was it. I had forgotten, in all that had happened, that a young woman's heart was at stake in the matter. I nearly smiled, then; to my surprise, Joscelin did, ducking his head to hide it, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Your majesty, I saw him crowned before we left Alba's shore."
    I said firmly, and added honestly, "If he sent no word, it is because he did not know what I intended. And I did not tell him because I did not expect to survive this last journey, and his honor is too great to have allowed me to make it. I have seen it, again and again, that he would put himself at risk in his people's stead. But this, I can tell you. Alone among our allies, Drustan mab Necthana rides toward Troyes-le-Mont with his head held high and a joyful heart, because he rides toward you. The dream that you shared together, of two mighty nations ruled side by side, lives on in him. If his people had not risen up to follow him, he would have set out to retake his throne alone, and had he fallen in the attempt, his last thought would have been of you."
    Ysandre kept her restraint, but color glowed in her pale cheeks. "Thank you," she murmured.
    "Your majesty," Joscelin said soberly, "one of the great honors of my life is Drustan mab Necthana calling me brother. He is a courageous and good leader, and I think in his quiet Cruithne way, he is very madly in love with you."
    Her blush deepened. "I didn't think Cassilines were supposed to notice such things," Ysandre said tartly, masking her reaction. Her own Cassiline guards held their expressions impassive.
    "No," Joscelin said wryly, glancing at me. "They're not."
    "Your majesty!" A soldier in a mail shirt, his helmet under his arm, appeared at the door. "The sky is beginning to lighten. My lord de Somer-ville would have conference with you."
    Ysandre left, then, taking her guards and attendants with her, leaving Joscelin and me alone.
    It was hard to speak of it, after what had happened.
    "How did you know?" I asked softly.
    He shook his head. "I don't know. I awoke, and knew somewhat was amiss. When I saw you had gone, I just knew. And I knew what Selig would do, if he caught you."
    "I thought you'd betrayed us all, for your vow. Before the end." I had to say it. "I'm sorry."
    "I don't blame you." He gave me his wry look. "You know, it is something every Cassiline learns, the terminus . But no one's ever used it in living memory." He studied his hands. "I nearly killed us both."
    "Joscelin." I touched his face. "I know. And until the day I die, I will be grateful for it." There was more, so much more I wanted to say to him, but I could not find the words, and there was no time for it. Joscelin caught my hand and held it hard.
    "It would have saved Hyacinthe the trouble of drowning me, if I'd let Selig have you," he said with a lightness neither of us felt. We could hear shouting outside the door, and the sound of running feet. "Can you walk? We might find out what's happening."
    "I would have walked here, if you'd have let me," I said, struggling to stand. "You should go find your father."
    Joscelin cocked his head, listening, then shook it. "It's too late. I'd only be in the way, and take his mind off the battle." He gave a rueful smile. "At least he knew I was no murderer, before the end."
    It was small consolation, but it would have to do. I squeezed his hand once more, in lieu of things unsaid. "Come on."

EIGHTY-NINE
    We made our way through the fortress, sidling along the walls to avoid the lines of rushing soldiers. The ascent up the southeast tower was the worst, climbing the narrow spiral of stairs. Joscelin did his best to shield me, but the passage was too small; once or twice I nearly cried out as my back brushed against a rough outcropping of stone.
    Still, we made our way upward, and gained the battlements of the eastern wall, guessing aright that the command watch would be stationed there.
    In the leaden light of predawn, it was like a scene straight out of hell. I had been amid the Skaldi camp, but I'd not understood, until then, what life had been like for those besieged in the fortress.
    An ocean of Skaldi surged on the plain below,