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Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Titel: Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal Kostenlos Bücher Online Lesen
Autoren: Christopher Moore
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Jakan was only the son of a Pharisee. He was only two years older than Joshua and me, but he was well on his way to mastering cruelty. If there is a single joy in having everyone you have ever known two thousand years dead, it is that Jakan is one of them. May his fat crackle in the fires of hell for eternity!
    Joshua taught us that we should not hate—a lesson that I was never able to master, along with geometry. Blame Jakan for the former, Euclid for the latter.

    Joshua ran behind the houses and shops of the village, the snake behind him by ten steps, and me behind her ten steps more. As he rounded the corner by the smith’s shop, Joshua ran into Jakan, knocking him to the ground.
    “You idiot!” Jakan shouted, rising and dusting himself off. His three friends laughed and he spun on them like an angry tiger. “This one needs to have his face washed in dung. Hold him.”
    The boys turned their focus on Joshua, two grabbing his arms while the third punched him in the stomach. Jakan turned to look for a pile to rub Joshua’s face in. Sarah slithered around the corner and reared up behind Joshua, spreading her glorious hood wide above our heads.
    “Hey,” I called as I rounded the corner. “You guys think this is an asp?” My fear of the snake had changed into a sort of wary affection. She seemed to be smiling. I know I was. Sarah swayed from side to side like a wheat stalk in the wind. The boys dropped Joshua’s arms and ran to Jakan, who had turned and slowly backed away.
    “Joshua was talking about asps,” I continued, “but I’d have to say that this here is a cobra.”
    Joshua was bent over, still trying to catch his breath, but he looked back at me and grinned.
    “Of course, I’m not the son of a Pharisee, but—”
    “He’s in league with the serpent!” Jakan screamed. “He consorts with demons!”
    “Demons!” the other boys shouted, trying to crowd behind their fat friend.
    “I will tell my father of this and you’ll be stoned.”
    A voice from behind Jakan said, “What is all this shouting?” And a sweet voice it was.
    She came out of the house by the smith’s shop. Her skin shone like copper and she had the light blue eyes of the northern desert people. Wisps of reddish-brown hair showed at the edges of her purple shawl. She couldn’t have been more than nine or ten, but there was something very old in her eyes. I stopped breathing when I saw her.
    Jakan puffed up like a toad. “Stay back. These two are consorting with a demon. I will tell the elders and they will be judged.”
    She spit at his feet. I had never seen a girl spit before. It was charming. “It looks like a cobra to me.”
    “See there, I told you.”
    She walked up to Sarah as if she were approaching a fig tree looking for fruit, not a hint of fear, only interest. “You think this is a demon?” she said, without looking back at Jakan. “Won’t you be embarrassed when the elders find that you mistook a common snake of the field for a demon?”
    “It is a demon.”
    The girl reached her hand up, and the snake made as if to strike, then lowered its head until its forked tongue was brushing the girl’s fingers. “This is definitely a cobra, little boy. And these two were probably leading it back to the fields where it would help the farmers by eating rats.”
    “Yep, that’s what we were doing,” I said.
    “Absolutely,” Joshua said.
    The girl turned to Jakan and his friends. “A demon?”
    Jakan stomped like an angry donkey. “You are in league with them.”
    “Don’t be silly, my family has only just arrived from Magdala, I’ve never seen these two before, but it’s obvious what they were doing. We do it all the time in Magdala. But then, this is a backwater village.”
    “We do it here too,” Jakan said. “I was—well—these two make trouble.”
    “Trouble,” his friends said.
    “Why don’t we let them get on with what they were doing.”
    Jakan, his eyes bouncing from the girl to the snake to the girl again, began to lead his friends away. “I will deal with you two another time.”
    As soon as they were around the corner, the girl jumped back from the snake and ran toward the door of her house.
    “Wait,” Joshua called.
    “I have to go.”
    “What is your name?”
    “I’m Mary of Magdala, daughter of Isaac,” she said. “Call me Maggie.”
    “Come with us, Maggie.”
    “I can’t, I have to go.”
    “Why?”
    “Because I’ve peed myself.”
    She disappeared through the

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