Life and Death are Wearing Me Out

rolling on the floor in agony. Mother sent me to get you. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Gome with me and keep Dad from going blind. She picked up her medical satchel, cast a fleeting glance at Ma Liangcai shaking in a corner, and ran out with me, so fast I couldn’t keep up. Her satchel swung back and forth, banging noisily against her backside as she ran. The stars were out; in the western sky Venus shone brightly alongside a crescent moon.
    My dad was still rolling around in the yard, and no one could hold him down. He kept rubbing his eyes and crying out in pain, sending cold shivers down people’s spines. All my brother’s toadies had slipped away, leaving only him and his protectors, the four Sun brothers. My mother and Huang Tong were each holding one of my dad’s arms to try to keep him from rubbing his eyes. But he was too strong for them, and his arms kept slipping out of their grasp, like slippery catfish. My mother, gasping from exertion, kept cursing: Jinlong, you unconscionable beast, he may not be your biological father, but he raised you from childhood. How could you be so savage?
    My sister charged into the compound like a savior from the heavens. Lan Lian, Mother said, stop struggling, Baofeng’s here. Baofeng, help your father, don’t let him go blind. He may be stubborn, but he’s a good man, and he was especially good to you and your brother. . . . Night had not fallen completely, but the red throughout the compound and on Dad’s face had turned dark green. The smell of paint hung in the air. Bring me some water, and hurry! My sister was still out of breath. Mother ran into the house and came out with a dipper full of water. That’s not enough! I need lots of water, the more the better! She took the dipper, took aim at Dad’s face, and said: Close your eyes, Dad! Actually, they’d been closed all along, since he couldn’t open them. She splashed the dipper full of water into his face. Water! she screamed hoarsely. Water! Water! I was shocked to hear a sound like that from my gentle sister. Mother came out of the house with a bucket of water, stumbling toward us. Astonishingly, Huang Tong’s wife, Wu Qiuxiang, a woman whose only fear was that things would go smoothly, who wished terrible afflictions on absolutely everyone, came out of her house also carrying a bucket of water. Darkness had fallen. From the shadows my sister cried out: Throw it all into his face! One dipper full of water after another splashed into Dad’s face, creating the sound of crashing waves. Bring me a lantern! she demanded. My mother ran into the house and came back with a small kerosene lantern, walking cautiously and shielding the flickering flame with her hand. A breeze blew by and put it out. Mother lost her footing and lay sprawled on the ground. The lantern must have sailed a long way away; I detected the smell of kerosene wafting from a distant corner of the wall. I heard Jinlong say to one of his toadies in a low voice: Go light the gas lamp.
    Outside of the sun, the brightest source of light in Ximen Village at the time was a gas lamp. Though only seventeen, Tiger Cub Sun was the village expert on that lamp. He could light it off in ten minutes, whereas it took others half an hour. They invariably broke the wicker filament; he never did. He’d stare at the filament, so white it hurt the eyes, and listen to the hiss of the gas, mesmerized. The compound was black as ink, but a light was beginning to glow inside the house, as if a fire were spreading. Surprised looks appeared on people’s faces as Tiger Cub Sun emerged from the Ximen Village Red Guard headquarters with a gas lamp on a pole, like bringing out the sun to invest the red wall and red tree with radiance, fiery, blindingly red. Every face in the crowd was immediately visible: Huang Huzhu, standing in the doorway of her house, fingering the tip of her braid like the spoiled daughter of a feudal family; Huang Hezuo, standing under the apricot tree, casting looks all over the place, her boyish haircut starting to grow out, bubbles oozing from between her teeth; Wu Qiuxiang running around, as if there were so many things she wanted to say, but no one to talk to; Ximen Jinlong, hands on his hips in the middle of the yard, a somber look in his eyes, his brows furrowed as if he were pondering weighty questions; three of the Sun brothers fanned out around Ximen Jinlong like a pack of running dogs; and finally, Huang Tong, who was busy