Lifesaving for Beginners

are there. Nearly there.’ She nods towards the window and I look out. Faith has the window seat. I thought it might cheer her up.
    Below, I see the sea. It’s called the Irish Sea, the one between England and Ireland. We did that in Mrs O’Reilly’s class, last year. She taught us lots of things about Ireland because that’s where she’s from. She didn’t let us say, ‘Londonderry’. If you did, she’d make you stand by the wall with your back to the class so you couldn’t see anything.
    I see an island with a round tower. There’s no roof on the tower. I reckon if I parachuted down right now, I’d land inside it, no problem.
    The fields look really small. Green.
    ‘The Emerald Isle’ Mam called it. Emeralds are like diamonds except they’re green. From up here, everything looks green, even the sea. Not many people know that the sea is actually green. Most people think it’s blue.
    I say, ‘Faith?’
    She says, ‘Ummm?’ the way adults do when they’re not listening. I tap her elbow and this makes her turn away from the window and look at me.
    ‘What?’
    ‘Nothing.’
    ‘What were you going to say?’
    ‘Nothing.’
    ‘I swear to God, Milo . . .’
    ‘OK, OK, I was just wondering if we’re going to see your birth mother as soon as we get off the plane.’
    Faith shakes her head. ‘Will you keep your voice down?’ Her whisper sounds like a hiss. She looks around but no one is listening. Most of them are looking at the sea and the fields and the island and the tower. She puts her elbows on the table top in front of her. It’s still down but it’s supposed to be up by now. She pushes her hands into her hair.
    I say, ‘I thought that’s why we were here. So you could talk to her.’
    She says, ‘It is, but . . . Milo, look, it’s . . . it’s complicated. You’re just nine. You don’t understand.’
    Adults always tell kids they don’t understand instead of saying that they don’t know how to explain it. Miss Williams doesn’t let us say, ‘I don’t know’. She says you have to make a stab at it.
    I only want to know if we’re going to visit the lady when we land. And if we’re not, then I just want to know what we’re going to do instead. I like having a plan. When you have a plan, you know what’s coming. When you’re a little kid, you don’t think about what’s coming. But I’ll be ten soon. Double digits. Damo says I’ll be a pre-teen, like him. A pre-teen is like being a teenager except you don’t need to shave and you don’t have spots yet. Damo has three hairs under each arm now. He says he got them two days after he turned ten. He’s always wearing tops with no sleeves. He hangs off the monkey bars at the park, so that everyone can see them.
    I say, ‘So?’
    Faith says, ‘What?’
    And I say, ‘So what?’ and that makes her smile and I love when Faith smiles so I don’t ask her again.
    The landing is really bouncy, which is pretty exciting. The lady in the seat in front of Faith doesn’t like it.
    She says, ‘Jesus, Mary and holy St Joseph, preserve us.’ Then she blesses herself loads of times. I think Ireland is a pretty holy place. Mrs O’Reilly was Irish and she was dead holy. She went to mass on Sundays and gave out to us if we had a ham sandwich on Fridays. You’re not supposed to eat meat on Fridays if you’re holy. Not even chicken nuggets, which have hardly any meat in them at all.
    I’ve only been to mass four times, I think. When I got christened and when I made my First Holy Communion, and then the two masses after the accident. Faith didn’t want me to go to the first one. Dad and Faith had a big fight about it.
    Dad said, ‘He needs to be there. He needs to understand.’
    Faith said, ‘He’s only nine years old.’
    Dad said, ‘I know what age my own son is, thank you very much.’
    By then Faith was crying and Dad said something like, ‘Your mother would have wanted him there.’ And that’s when Faith started shouting at Dad. ‘What the hell would you know about what Mam wanted?’ Dad didn’t even tell her to stop shouting and saying hell.
    Later, when Damo asked me why my eyes were red, I said, ‘I ate a chilli pepper,’ and he said, ‘A whole one?’ and I said, ‘Yeah,’ and he said, ‘A raw one?’ and I said, ‘Yeah,’ and he said, ‘Awesome,’ and that made me stop thinking about Dad and Faith shouting, and Mam not being here anymore.
    I see Faith’s bag on the carousel and I drag it off. It’s