Live and Let Drood

“I’ll just bet he was.”
    “What about you? You went looking for help when your family made you rogue. You were ready to work with monsters, too!”
    “Yes,” I said. “But I found you.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

    Traffic Can Be Murder Sometimes
    M olly and I still weren’t talking to each other when we left the Establishment Club, so it was just as well there was a distraction waiting for us. The Regent of Shadows had sent us a nice new car, along with one of his agents to explain why. I took my time looking over the car, and let the agent wait till I was ready to talk to her. The car was big enough that it took me a while to walk around it; a great red beast of a car, with white stripes, gleaming chrome and high tail fins. A classic of its kind from when Detroit dinosaurs roamed the earth, and about as conspicuous in London traffic as a piranha in an aquarium. I finally sat on the bonnet and gave the Regent’s agent an equally thorough inspection.
    She smiled back easily, a very cool and poised middle-aged lady, still good-looking in a never heard of Botox and wouldn’t use it even if I had kind of way. Dressed in an elegantly cut tweed suit with a creamy white panama hat crammed down on her long grey hair and a flouncy white silk scarf round her throat. She just sparkled with charm and grace and gave every indication that she ought to be off organising a garden party somewhere. I was quite taken with her. Molly, less so.
    “What the hell kind of car is this?” said Molly. “It couldn’t stand out any more if it had a target painted on it.”
    “And hello to you, too, Molly Metcalf,” said the agent in a clipped, cut-glass, finishing-school voice. “I’m Diana, one of the Regent of Shadows’s most established agents. Hello, Eddie Drood! Delighted to meet you both. And this is a 1958 Plymouth Fury. Classic American muscle car, fully restored, with all kinds of useful extras. And, bless me, look at the chrome on that!”
    “It is a bit conspicuous,” I said.
    “It’s registered to the Regent,” said Diana. “An official Department of the Uncanny vehicle, with all the right papers filed in all the right places, so no one will bother you. And, after all, it’s not as if you can hide from Crow Lee’s all-seeing eye, no matter what you’re driving. Sneaking up on the Most Evil Man in the World was never going to be an option. I’m sure the Phantom V’s privacy shields were first-class; your Armourer always did do good work. But they won’t hide you from Crow Lee. His many agents will undoubtedly be watching all the roads for the Phantom V, but they won’t be expecting you in this. Word will get out, of course, but driving the Plymouth should buy you some wriggle room.”
    “Very kind of the Regent,” I said. “I’ll take it. Does it come with a warranty?”
    “She doesn’t even come with insurance,” said Diana. “She’s called the Scarlet Lady. Take her; we’re glad to be rid of her.”
    “Why did I just know she was going to say that?” said Molly. “All right, what’s wrong with her?”
    “She’s not been exactly…lucky,” said Diana. “In fact, we’ve searched her thoroughly several times, just in case someone accidentally built a dead albatross into her somewhere. But I think she just needs a firm hand on the wheel and a chance to prove herself.”
    Molly looked at her. “I want the Phantom back. I knew where I was with the Phantom.”
    “You never liked the Phantom and you know it,” I said.
    “I like this even less,” Molly said firmly.
    “Hush,” said Diana, “She’ll hear you.”
    “Convince me,” I said.
    “The Scarlet Lady has first-class protections, and more built-in weaponry than some third-world countries,” Diana said briskly. “She can hit Mach four with the wind behind her, can outrun anything on four wheels and can punch right through a brick wall without even slowing. And she has a sat nav programmed to take you straight to Crow Lee’s little hideaway down in Surrey. That is where he’s retired to, in case you were wondering.”
    “We had already worked that out, thank you,” said Molly.
    “How clever of you, darling,” said Diana, smiling sweetly at Molly for just a moment before giving me her full attention. “Eddie, there’s something I need to talk to you about. Not really any of my business, I know, but that’s never stopped me before.…I need you to consider this. I know you don’t want to think about it, but even if you do