Live and Let Drood

the shoulder, and got up and went away. Leaving me sitting there alone in that eerily silent and deserted dormitory. And all I could think was, I want my mum. I want my dad.
    And standing there in that familiar-seeming room, I felt just that way again for no reason I could understand.
    “Eddie?” said Molly. “What’s wrong? You’re shaking.”
    “It’s okay,” I said. “Molly. I was just thinking. Remembering.”
    She squeezed my arm reassuringly. And then we both looked round sharply as a young Indian woman wearing a brightly patterned sari entered the room. She smiled warmly at both of us, and we gave her our best professional smiles.
    “Welcome to Uncanny,” she said, in a rich contralto voice. “I’m Ankani. Please come with me. The Regent is very much looking forward to meeting with you.”
    “Are you his secretary?” I said.
    Ankani smiled broadly. “Hardly. I’m one of his special agents. We didn’t want you overawing the regular staff. We all spend time here in between assignments, guarding the place and doing whatever needs doing. We all muck in around here. The Regent’s a great one for us all feeling like family. Breeds esprit de corps, and helps weed out those who aren’t in this for the right reasons. But we mustn’t keep the Regent waiting. He’s been preparing for this meeting all day.”
    I looked at Molly, both of us conspicuously not budging. “Someone else who knew we were going to be here before we did.”
    “Really not liking that,” said Molly. “I’d hate to think I was becoming predictable at my time of life.”
    “It’s our job to know things,” said Ankani.
    “Even before they happen?” I said.
    “Oh, especially then.” Ankani smiled suddenly in a way that made her look a lot younger. “But mostly we’re just really good guessers.”
    “Then maybe you can tell me,” I said bluntly. “Do you know why my family would never talk about the Regent?”
    “Of course,” said Ankani. “But I really think I’d better leave it to the Regent to tell you. I think it will come better from him. I really don’t want to spoil the surprise.”
    Ankani led us through a series of narrow, cheerfully lit corridors that reminded me of some old-fashioned country house. And, onceagain, of the quieter parts of Drood Hall. Along the way we passed a number of other Uncanny agents of an especially outré nature. I did wonder whether this was a show put on for our benefit to impress us with the Department’s capabilities. We almost walked right into an agent so thoroughly camouflaged by his surroundings, I could hardly make him out. I looked back as he passed, and all I could see were the footprints he left in the deep carpeting.
    “Show-off,” said Molly.
    Our next encounter was with an oversized Hell’s Angel, all long hair and heavy biker leathers, with a Rastamouse Lives! T-shirt. He just grunted and nodded quickly, while I wondered exactly where he could blend in as an undercover agent.
    He was followed by a ghostly Viking figure, complete with horned helmet and a bear-fur cloak that looked like it might have been part of the bear as early as that morning. He was a huge burly figure, but he still stepped quickly aside to let us pass, half of him disappearing into the wall.
    “That’s the Phantom Berserker,” said Ankani. “We inherited him from the previous administration. They dug him up out of a burial mound in Norway back in the 1960s, and he followed them back here like a stray dog. So they gave him a bowl of mead and a blanket to sleep on in the kitchen, and he’s been here ever since. The Regent did discuss having him exorcised when he took over, but we found we liked having him around. He’s just like a big puppy, only with a really big axe. And it’s not like he’s got anywhere else to go, poor soul.…He’s a bit single-minded, and more than a bit on the shy side in mixed company, but there’s no one you’d rather have at your side when there’s serious Smiting of the Bad Guys to be done.”
    She finally knocked on a door that looked no different from all the other doors we’d passed, waited for a voice from inside and then pushed the door open and ushered us into the Regent’s office. And there he was, at last, the Regent of Shadows and new head of the Department of the Uncanny. A man of average height though a little on the skinny side, who looked to be in his late seventies…wearing a scruffy suitwith leather patches on the elbows, and what