Lost in You

him. She’s probably lurking in the bushes, waiting to pounce on me for talking to her man.
    “Yeah, I remember her.”
    “We have a place not too far from here. Well, five or six blocks away, but still close.”
    Great, they live together. The question is at the forefront of my mind. I’m dying to know so I ask. “How long have you been together?”
    He laughs lightly and shakes his head. “We aren’t together. We just live together. It’s cheaper to have a roommate.”
    My body sighs with relief although I’m stupid to think he’s single. He’s far too good looking to be single. He steps forward, close enough that I can smell his cologne. His hands encase my cheeks so fast I don’t know what’s happening. Before I can react, his lips are on mine and I’m giving him all the access he wants. I’m no longer in control of my body. It’s taken over and submitted to him.
    He kisses me fast and urgent at first, before slowing down and taking his time. He places small kisses on my lips, resting his forehead against mine.
    “I’m sorry,” he whispers. I’m not. I’m so not sorry that he just kissed me and hate that he is. “I just had to know.”
    “Know what?”
    “If you’re the one.”

CHAPTER 43
    Ryan
     
     
    If someone told me this morning that I was going to run into Hadley Carter today I would’ve laughed in their face. I haven’t thought about her in years. No, that’s a lie. Each time I began dating someone and things started getting serious, I would think of Hadley. I would compare them and end up ruining my relationship. I’ve had one serious girlfriend since Hadley and I’m not counting Dylan, because that was more of an exploration relationship.
    I had met this girl in business class and she reminded me of Hadley. I thought it could work and it did for about a year. She started dropping hints about getting engaged and how a spring wedding in New York would be so beautiful. I didn’t panic or freak out. I simply told her that she wasn’t the one I saw when I closed my eyes at night. Since then I dated occasionally, nothing serious because there’s no point in going head first into something if she isn’t the one you see in your dreams.
    During the winter our Friday nights are spent at O’Malley’s. It’s been tradition for about a year or maybe longer. It started when Dylan brought one of the O’Malley boys home. I liked John well enough and we’ve become friends.
    I don’t know what told me to turn around, but something did. Part of me is not sorry that I saw her, while the other part wishes I never turned around at all. I could’ve gone the rest of my life never seeing her again because living the nightmare from when she left me was enough the first time. But there she stands, staring at me. In shock, I’m sure. Just as I never expected to see her, I have no doubt she never expected to find me here, in her city.
    I’m frozen. My legs don’t want to move even though I’m begging them to step forward or back. Anything to let me relax from this rigid posture I’ve got going on. The cue stick in my hand is breaking from my grip. I can feel it splintering beneath my fingers.
    Dylan reaches up and whispers into my ear. “I’m going to kick you in the balls if you don’t smile right now.”
    I smile simply from the fear of getting kicked. I know she did it on purpose. She remembers everything clearly and doesn’t want to see me going through it again. I watch as Hadley stares at Dylan and turns red when Dylan rests her hand on my arm a bit longer than normal. There’s no doubt in my mind that Hadley is jealous of Dylan, just as I’m jealous of the guy she’s with. I remember him from the magazine covers and photos I found online back when we broke up. I know who he is and know that he’s looking over at me every few seconds wondering what I’m going to do with his precious girl.
    She steps forward, one foot in front of the other, as she makes her way over here. It would be nice if I could move as well, but I’m cemented to the ground. Not too many things have changed about her in the last four years. Her features are softer and she’s wearing less make-up. Her hair is down, the top hidden by a wool hat. She’s wearing black boots and a dark gray skirt and black sweater. She’s clearly dressed for the elements and not for the stage.
    I remember that she used to wear cowboy boots and short dresses and she loved it because it felt more natural than that