Lost in You

slamming cupboards. I can’t imagine what it was like to grow up with Ian as your brother. He’s entirely too bossy for my liking.
    “What about you, Austin? Are you willing to go along with this sham so I can get your daughter on the straight and narrow?”
    “I’m with Libby, but I also don’t want Hadley’s name dragged through the mud. I’ll support whatever Hadley decides to do.”
    Cole leans into me, his scruff tickling my cheek. “I’ll do whatever you want,” he whispers in my ear. I nod and move away slightly. I can’t have him this close.
    “Fine,” I say, looking away from Ian.
    “You know things could be worse, Hadley.”
    “I know.” I can’t take any more of this intervention. I get up, grab my hoodie and head outside. I need fresh air. I sit in the rocking chair on the back deck and watch a bird look for food. Doesn’t he know he should be south by now? The door opens and closes. I can tell by the overwhelming scent of his cologne that it's Cole. He sits down and starts swinging us back and forth. I hate that he can do that and I can’t. It sucks being short.
    “You screwed up, Hadley Girl.”
    “Shut up, Coleman, I don’t need to hear it from you, too.”
    “What’s this guy got?”
    I look away so he doesn’t see my tears. I’m not sure I can explain it to Cole without hurting his feelings. Cole and I were in love once and I thought that was enough, but with Ryan, it’s so different, I can’t explain it.
    “You can tell me, ya know.”
    I shake my head. “I can’t.”
    “Do you love him?”
    I nod.
    “More than you loved me?”
    “That’s not fair.”
    He reaches over and pulls my chin toward him. He wipes my tears away. “Hadley, it’s okay to love someone else. What we had was great and I screwed that up. I was young and stupid, but if I could change it, I would. I never wanted to hurt you. If you’re in love with this guy, then he’s the luckiest guy I know.” His voice is so quiet and soft. I know why I loved him so much. He pulls me into his arms and holds me. The sad thing is, this isn’t acting. He’s being genuine.
    “I can’t be with him. I’m not good for him and it was stupid for me to even think I could have something with someone who isn’t part of my crazy life.”
    “You’re life isn’t crazy; it’s normal.”
    “It’s anything but normal, Cole.”
    Cole leans away so he can see my face. “Don’t worry, I’ll make everything better.”
    Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of. If Ryan was an error in judgment, Cole is a colossal mistake.

CHAPTER 33
    Ryan
     
     
    I missed a week of school thanks to Dylan. It was at her insistence that I not go to school until the bruising around my neck was less visible. I told her it wouldn’t work, but she forged a note from my mom saying I was ill.
    Mr. and Mrs. Ross didn’t like that, so things changed quickly. I don’t know what happened the night Mr. Ross left me sitting at the table and I didn’t ask. My parents haven’t called and asked me to come home though and I’m not sure how I should feel about that. I hope that my mom can at least call and check on me. I’ll have to visit her at work if that doesn’t happen soon.
    Returning to school is not high on my priority list, but I can’t say that it is for any teenager. I’m trying not to count the days since I last spoke to Hadley. I’m trying not to remember what we were about to do before everything changed. If I had kept my mouth shut, maybe things would be different now. I carry around my phone – the phone she bought for me – hoping that it will spring to life at any moment. It’s the only piece of her that I have and I can’t let go. Each time I think about her, the anger starts. At night, when I’m alone, I lie in bed and cry, waiting for that stupid phone to ring, or vibrate, or beep or something that signifies my connection to her is not a figment of my imagination. Maybe this is why my parents sheltered me so much, so I wouldn’t feel the pain of heartache.
    I can only hide a few of the bruises and they aren’t as dark, but I’m keeping my head down, tucking myself into the new hoodie that Mrs. Ross bought for me, one of my new pieces of clothing. Dylan told a few kids that I was thinking about taking up wrestling and the marks were from working out. That earned me a few pats on the back and a requested meeting with the wrestling coach. The nice thing is I’m not being stared at. No one knows about what happened