Love Can Be Murder

humiliation of her husband's kicking her to the curb for this...this...this cliché, but having to endure the woman coming over to her side of the street to rub it in was simply too much.
    Something dark and sinister came over Penny, filling her with vengeance. She put her hand on Sheena's bulbous chest and shoved her hard, off the sidewalk and in front of oncoming traffic.

Chapter Four

    A liberal dose of theatrics...

    IN SLOW MOTION, Sheena clawed at the air as she stumbled backward, her kohl-lined eyes wide with fear when she realized she was going down on asphalt. On the sidewalk, Penny stood frozen, part of her unable to believe that she'd just pushed the woman, part of her morbidly fascinated as she watched the action unfold. A dark SUV was barreling down Charm Street toward Sheena. The driver held a cell phone to his ear and hadn't yet noticed the woman flailing in the street. From the other direction came a station wagon, but it slowed: The driver seemed to be distracted by the horrid pink house.
    Alarm overrode self-preservation, propelling Penny into the street. She dove and tackled Sheena, then rolled them both to the center line and braced to be struck and torn into a dozen bloody parts. She hadn't planned to die in the arms of her husband's girlfriend. Their joint demise would spark scandal...headlines...folk songs.
    Tires squealed and horns blasted the air, although Penny could barely hear over Sheena screaming in her ear. She was lying underneath the woman, pinned by Sheena's pendulous breasts, unable to breathe. Her body sang with pain, especially where the mini binoculars in her pocket bit into her hip, but slowly Penny realized they hadn't been pulverized. She opened her eyes, squinting into the sun.
    "Holy freak, are you ladies okay?" A wide-eyed teenager leaned out of the driver's side window of the SUV. He still held his cell phone to his ear. "Dude," he yelled into the mouthpiece, "I nearly mowed down two lesbians!" Then he moved the phone away from his mouth. "Seriously, are you two okay?"
    "Get off me!" Sheena screeched at Penny.
    "You're on me ," Penny muttered, pushing to free herself.
    Sheena flopped onto her back, her white neck brace and hair a stunning contrast against the dark asphalt. She looked dazed, and she'd lost a high-heeled shoe, but otherwise, she seemed fine. Well, other than the mad-as-hell part.
    "I could have been killed!"
    The teenager gave a dry laugh and pointed to Penny. "Yeah, she saved your life, lady. I would've splattered you for sure if she hadn't knocked you out of the way."
    "Me, too," shouted the lady driving the station wagon. "That woman is a hero." Sporadic applause and cheers burst out from drivers who had rolled down their windows.
    Penny pushed up on her elbows, looked at where the young man's SUV had finally come to a stop, and swallowed hard. Sheena's sunglasses lay in a thousand pieces behind one of the big tires. He would have splattered Sheena if she hadn't decided to act.
    Of course, if she hadn't pushed Sheena, she wouldn't have had to save her.
    Penny clambered to her feet and brushed herself off, feeling shaky at the close encounter with death, and guilty that she was being heralded a hero. She reached down, grasped Sheena by the arm, and, with considerable effort, pulled the stunned woman to her feet. As soon as Sheena was standing, she slapped at Penny's hands like a windmill.
    "Get away from me, you lunatic!"
    Penny shrank back, turned to give the teenager a wobbly smile, and called, "We're fine here. Thanks." He pulled away and other cars followed slowly, staring at Penny and Sheena standing on the center line. The pieces of mail that Penny had held flapped on the ground like wounded birds. She glanced toward The Charm Farm and saw Jimmy Scaggs jogging toward them.
    Great.
    "Let's get out of the street, Sheena."
    "Where is my shoe?" Sheena bellowed, hobbling in one high heel.
    "It's over there," Penny said, pointing to the curb in front of her former house, avoiding curious stares from drivers, growing more frantic by the minute. She had almost killed the woman—no matter what sins Sheena had committed, she didn't deserve to die. Penny gulped air. What had she been thinking? Shaking noticeably, Penny touched Sheena's elbow. "I'm sorry. Come on, I'll help you across."
    Sheena swatted at Penny again, her face mottled as she limped ahead, stopping cars with a mere lift of her hand. "Don't touch me. I told Deke you were going to blow, but he