Love is Always Write Anthology Bonus Volume

hedges and rescuing maidens? My last climb was a five-eight, and a month ago. We'll go up the buttress. And also, thank you for thinking I'm stupid enough to get my ass stuck halfway up a fucking rock trying to impress the Incredible Lukas Blake."
    Somehow I had the feeling that if I spent much time around Alan, I'd be swearing as much as he did. Maybe more.
    "I'm sorry," I told him. "I didn't think."
    "Like that's something new," he muttered.
    The walk back to Two-Face was usually a short, easy hike. Walking with Alan angry at me again, it seemed to take forever. Eventually, though, we stood beneath Two-Face. Alan grinned up at it. Professor Nieman gathered us at the bottom of the wide chimney that marked the meeting point of the two faces.
    "You all know what you're doing," Professor Nieman said. "Just remember that if I catch anyone being stupid I'm going to kick him/her/them from here to Lake Erie." She waved a hand at the cliffs above her. "We've got more routes than pairs, so who wants what?"
    "We want the five-eight on the buttress ," Alan said before anyone else could. Professor Nieman looked at him, looked at me. I nodded.
    "All right. Lacroix, Blake knows this rock. I expect you to bear that in mind. Who else?"
    Janelle's hand shot up. "We want the other side of the buttress."
    Oh. Great. As a climber, Janelle was skilled. As company, she was… less so.
    "Yay!" Alan said. "Buttress-buddies!"
    Nico snorted, others laughed. No one wanted the easier routes on the southeastern face, so Professor Nieman led the rest of the group to the southern face. I led Alan around the buttress to show him the route.
    "Five established pitches," I told him, tracing the path up the cliff. "The first one is a strenuous five-eight with that little bit of overhang. The second and third are easier. The end of the third is that ledge; it's a nice place to eat lunch if you can carry it that far." I cast an eye on the picnic basket. "The next pitch is rated five-eight. I'd call it a five-nine, maybe even a five-ten, but it's short. Then an easier climb in that chimney, and up to the top. It will take us most of the day, but it's an easy hike down the back and to the parking lot."
    "If we leave our lunch," Alan said. "Or… we could tie a rope to the basket and haul it up when we get there?" He pointed at a wide crack in the cliff face to the right of our route. "Looks like the ledge goes that far, and the basket probably wouldn't catch on anything."
    "Or we could unpack it and stick the food in our backpacks. Easy enough to carry it empty."
    "And ruin Lilia's painstaking presentation?"
    I didn't mention how Alan had stuck his arm in without even looking, so how did he know how it looked? Instead I estimated the height of the ledge, decided he was probably right about getting the basket up the crack unhindered, and asked if he had extra rope to offer to the cause. Alan grinned and wriggled out of his backpack.
    Two-Face had been one of my favorite expeditions from the first time the club climbed it my freshman year. I'd been up most of the routes, with or without the club, since. I'd only climbed the easier buttress route— the By George, it was called— once, though, so I wasn't expecting to be bored. Not to mention the fact that I hadn't been on the rocks much at all in the last year, and I had a partner I'd never climbed with.
    Alan knew what he was doing, though. His harness was worn but cared for, his rack sparser than mine but holding a good variety of gear. His hands on his equipment were sure and confident, and he wasn't foolish enough to climb without a helmet like most of the club did. His chalk bag was red, yellow, and green, like a rasta hat.
    He saw me watching and rolled his eyes.
    "Check and double-check," I told him.
    "Yes, dear." Alan thumped his helmet. "All secure," he said, but I checked his harness anyway, and he checked mine.
    At the bottom of their route and not far enough away, Janelle and Brad were arguing. Brad had a rack any climber would envy, though I wondered how heavy it was, carrying what looked like every piece of equipment ever. Janelle's stuff looked brand-new. I wondered if she'd lost all her gear, or just decided to replace it. Neither wore a helmet.
    "Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock for first pitch?" Alan suggested.
    "As the Two-Face virgin, it only seems fair to let you go first."
    Alan snorted and tied into his harness, slowly so I could be sure it was right, and handed the rest of the rope