Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 10

intensely enough that Austin took a retreating step.
    "I'm gonna go now. I'll pick up my things some other time," Austin said as he rushed toward the door, leaving Zach to pick up the pieces and make sure neither he nor Archer starved.
    He walked to the boy, dropping to his knees and picking him up from the blanket. "Shh, baby, it's gonna be okay. We'll figure it. It's just you and me now, Archer, just you and me." He rocked the child in his arms, smelling the soft baby scent and holding his tears away. He would cry when Archer was asleep, no sense in upsetting the little one. No sense at all.
    ****
    It was one of those mornings when everything seemed to be slightly off. Zach overslept, not by a lot but enough. With his son to take care of, getting ready for work was always an interesting but very time consuming feat.
    Archer was still sleeping as Zach stumbled into his room, pulling up his jeans and stepping barefoot onto the softest carpet he'd managed to find when they still had some money, when there were still two providers in the picture. Zach shook his head, dispelling those thoughts. He'd learned months ago that he just didn't have time for unproductive realizations.
    One of the things he hated the most was waking Archer up, but no matter how peaceful and amazing his son looked asleep they were already out of time and if he dragged it out he would be late to work, yet again.
    Touching him gently, because he was still sometimes afraid he would hurt his child when he saw his big hands against Archer's small body, or his rough, tattooed skin against the softness of a baby's, Zach roused him up.
    Archer whined softly, hiccupping himself into a cry and Zach lifted him up, pulling him against his body and shushing him earnestly. "Hush, little baby, it's just morning," he cradled his son's head, rubbing at the soft black hair. Archer looked so much like him it made Zach's heart swell at times, pushing the point forward of why exactly it was so worth it, why he couldn't make himself regret having Archer, not even for a moment.
    "We're gonna go see your uncles. Yes, they'll take care of you until daddy is free. And then we're gonna read a story," Zach went to put his hands together and make a sign for a book before he caught himself and kept them securely around his baby.
    He'd read hundreds of books and articles, the contradictions making his head pound, and even after doing all he was able to do to be a good parent, he felt inadequate.
    "Mike and G love having you around, just like I do," he mumbled as Archer calmed down, pushing his knuckles into his mouth, drooling.
    Zach put him on the changing table, still way too frightened that Archer might roll off it, even though Zach was able to change a diaper even in his sleep. But it was one of those mornings, when Archer seemed to be particularly unhappy and spiteful, and when changing the dirty diaper only meant that Archer was naked long enough to direct that little tool of his, that was sure to break hearts in the future, toward Zach and piss all over his clothes.
    He giggled, that little fist still in his mouth as he grinned around it, and despite wanting to be angry and curse the extra work, Zach giggled with him. He never could resist Archer's smile.
    "Come on you little prankster, let's get you changed. You'll have to eat with your uncles."
    Zach dressed Archer in the tiny blue outfit, liking the color despite not knowing the exact names of each piece of clothing. He'd found out early on that he would be one of those fathers who would forever gesture to the sales women about what exactly he meant when he said shirt or pantyhose – they always seemed to call it differently, listing names that entered Zach's one ear, only to promptly exit through the other.
    "You'll have to play for a bit, Archer. Daddy needs to change." Zach put him on the thick blanket filled with soft toys and left the bathroom door open as he pulled off his soiled clothes and rubbed down with a wet towel. There was no time for a shower and he knew Archer would get cranky soon enough since it always frustrated him that his muscles weren't strong enough yet to lift him and hold him as he pleased.
    Finally ready, Archer in his arms, the baby smell surrounding him, and a gray baby bag he'd learned to always carry with him in hand. He'd wanted a black one, since it was his preferred color, but the best he'd found was gray with big pink letters sewn on the front. Another tripping stone for a single