Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 3

wouldn't come back tonight. He'd sleep in his truck, and tomorrow there would be awkward silence, followed by eventual small talk. Things would cool down to almost normal. But they'd never discuss this again.
    He should've just kept his mouth shut. From now on, he would.
    ****
    The little LED on his keyring gave Jude enough light to find the truck. He climbed in, slammed the door, and sat there drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.
    Ethan was gay. And wanted him.
    Worse—he wanted Ethan right back.
    One kiss had unlocked a flood of emotions he'd never even realized he was capable of feeling. He'd had partners before, and a few times he'd thought he was in love. Even with Mike, back in the beginning. And every one of those glimmers paled in comparison to this.
    But this was Ethan . His best friend. The guy who'd been there for him time and again, who made him laugh, who'd always believed in him when no one else did. Ethan, who'd refused to take a discount when he hired Jude's company to design a program for his interior design work. Who'd bought him a bottle of ridiculously expensive champagne to celebrate the first year his software business had been profitable, when he would've been happy with a few beers.
    Now, all those little things added up to a whole new big picture.
    Crazy. No question about it. If he had any sense at all, he'd stay right here and try to sleep, then go back in the morning and act like nothing happened until Ethan went along with him. But something about that scenario nagged at him, and it took a few minutes of calming down before he could put a finger on it.
    He was the first person Ethan had come out to, ever. And instead of being supportive, he'd taken off like a jackass.
    The thought had him scrambling from the truck in an instant. He had some serious apologizing to do, because he knew damned well how crippling a rejection like that could be. He'd been on the verge of suicide by the time he'd been kicked off the reservation, after he came out to a so-called friend who decided to spread the word that he was a sexual freak who got off on little boys. At the time, he'd known nothing about the gay lifestyle, because it didn't exist on the rez. He only knew that he was attracted to men. So for a while, he'd actually believed he was some kind of monster.
    He couldn't let that happen to Ethan.
    The glow of the campfire was visible from the road. He followed it back, hands shoved in his pockets, trying to figure out what he could say. He'd fucked up. Again. He was really good at fucking things up, and not so great at fixing them.
    Ethan sat with his back to him, one knee bent and his sprained ankle out straight. No way he hadn't heard Jude coming, but he didn't acknowledge him. Jude couldn't blame him for that.
    "I could've been a bear, you know."
    Nothing. He might as well have been talking to a tree.
    He sighed. "I'm an asshole."
    "No, you're not." Ethan shifted a little, so his face was in profile. "You were right. I should have left it alone."
    The strained resignation in his voice went straight to Jude's heart. He walked around, crouched in front of him and settled a hand against Ethan's cheek, turning his face gently toward him. "I was wrong," he said. "You told me something huge, and I walked away. That was a shit thing to do."
    "Well, forget I said it." Ethan shied from his touch and glared at the ground. "I didn't mean it. I was just trying to make you feel better."
    "So that's it? You're going to stay in your closet and like it."
    "I don't have a choice. Christ, Jude, I've told you about my mother."
    "People can surprise you sometimes." He wasn't sure why he was trying to get through like this. Ethan had been in denial for years, so maybe it would still work for him. But in his personal experience, the hell he'd gone through in separating from his family had been worth his freedom. "It's a lot more acceptable these days," he said. "Maybe she'd be all right with it."
    "Oh, yeah?" Ethan shot him a vicious look. "You like watching the news, or at least the weather part. Do you remember a few years back, there was this huge story about a country church with a nasty little message on the outdoor sign? It was right around Gay Pride Week."
    A sour taste coated Jude's throat. "Think I might've heard something..."
    " Gay is not okay ," Ethan spat. "Big black letters, both sides of the sign. My mother got her fifteen minutes and then some. She pulled out all the stops for the TV