Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 5

wondering, the things that Gunnar called you, and what Magnus said last night and, well, this morning." Alex's voice trailed off without actually asking any of the questions that were crowding his mind as Harald turned to look at him. His face was paler than usual. His eyes were cold and hard, his mouth set in a grim line. Feeling suddenly afraid Alex started to back towards the trees.
    "Stop," Harald warned and Alex sank down onto a fallen tree trunk. "It's all right. I know what you want to ask." Alex was surprised. He'd expected from his expression that Harald was angry with him, instead his voice was flat and empty.
    Harald didn't continue. Instead he turned back towards the water where he gathered several of the smooth stones. Alex watched as he skimmed them, making them jump across the surface of the water. His hands finally empty Harald walked back to where Alex was sitting and sank down on the trunk next to him.
    "Ask," he said bluntly.
    "I, well, I didn't want to assume, but the things Gunnar was saying, and Magnus, well, it's just," Alex couldn't seem to phrase the question he really wanted to ask.
    "Am I argr ? Is that want you want to know?" Harald interrupted.
    "Well as I don't know what argr means, I was going to ask whether you were gay?"
    "Gay?"
    "Yes," Alex looked directly at Harald and shrugged. "I am, and I thought, perhaps you were too."
    "Gay?" Harald repeated, seeming genuinely confused.
    "Gay, yes, oh wait," realisation was slowly dawning for Alex. The term gay was a fairly modern one, it had certainly not been used in Viking times. "Tell me what argr means?" He suggested
    "To suggest that someone is argr is an insult," Harald began. "To be called such means that they think you are unmanly, cowardly, that you would," Harald broke off suddenly. Alex waited whilst the older man stared blankly out over the water.
    "I lived with my foster father from the age of twelve," he continued eventually. "It's a common arrangement. The children from one noble family are fostered by another during their adolescence. The foster family see to their continuing education and training in weaponry and war craft. My foster father, Lord Olaf of Skara, is an important man, to whom I owe my allegiance and my sword when he needs me. In my sixteenth summer he returned from a successful raid with women and children from across the seas. These captives were either sold as slaves or put to work in the household. "
    "The stable boy," Alex whispered.
    "Yes," Harald nodded briefly as he continued. "Edgar. He was a year older than I was and we struck up a friendship of sorts. The more time I spent with him, the more confused I felt. Had I just taken him, used him, well that would have been acceptable in everyone's eyes. But that wasn't what I wanted, instead I wanted to be ergi , to have him take me. We never actually did anything but eventually word got back to Lord Olaf, and my father." Harald's tone had turned bitter. "One morning I went to the stables and he was gone, sold. I never found out where he went. The same day, my father told me that I would marry Lord Olaf's daughter, Britta, the following week.
    "She died giving birth to our second child six years later. Those years of marriage had taught me one thing; although I could perform my duty to my wife I found no enjoyment in it. With a marriage behind me and having had children I could no longer be accused of fuoflogi. Lord Olaf was keen for me to remarry, to give my children a new mother, I refused as I wanted to follow my own instincts now that I had fulfilled my obligations to create an heir for the Jarldom. He granted me permission to join my father on the condition that I left my children with him, so I did not influence them.
    "I suggested that, given what I intended, I renounce my claim on my father's title, but neither he nor Lord Olaf would agree. Gunnar has never accepted who or what I am. He believes that because of my nature I am unfitting to be Jarl, that the title should pass from my father to him. He has never done more than hurl insults and accusations, until now, until you came."
    "Since then he's tried to kill you, and frame me for it," Alex interrupted.
    "Yes, and now that has failed he's gone to Lord Olaf to argue his case. That I am unmanly, cowardly, I must be unfit to be heir to the Jarldom." Harald agreed.
    "I came out to my family when I was fifteen," Alex said quietly.
    "Came out?" Harald queried.
    "I told them that I was gay. Not, in your