Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 6

"couples," so they'd have dates to the homecoming dance. I tried to stay out of the fray, but I was getting pressure from every direction. My friends were all trying to get me together with Tiffany, one of the other girls in our group who wasn't seeing anyone. Everyone said she had a crush on me, and she was a very sweet, very nice girl. And then at home, mom started bugging me about it— was I going, were there any girls I was interested in taking. Dad even asked about it a few times.
    I was freaking out and stressed and finally, I just did what everyone wanted. I asked Tiffany to the dance, we went on dates, I started walking her to class and holding her hand— everything that made me appear like a normal straight boy. But inside, it was killing me. My parents were happy, my friends were happy, Tiffany was happy— but I was miserable.
    The night of Homecoming came and keeping up the smiles and the happy façade became too much. I was fidgety and snappy with everyone and I knew I wasn't very attentive to Tiffany. I could see her eyes holding back tears several times during the evening. I would try to compensate by putting my arm around her or holding her a little tighter if we were dancing. But I hated every moment of it. I hated lying, I hated watching all the couples dancing around us who actually wanted to be here together and I couldn't be with someone I wanted to be with. Not that I had anyone at the time, but it was the principle.
    The night felt like it dragged on forever, and by the time it was over I just felt exhausted. And frustrated. And angry. Mom was still up when I got home and I knew she wanted to hear how the night had gone but I managed to brush her off and head straight to my room. I tore off my suit and showered, but I was still keyed up and no way was I going to be able to sleep. So I got on my computer and went to the message boards I'd been frequenting; lurking and reading other gay teens' thoughts and comments but never posting anything myself. Before I knew it I was clicking the new topic button and attacking the keyboard, typing out all my feelings and frustrations. And when I was done and hit submit, I couldn't believe how much lighter I felt. Having no outlet had just aggravated everything until tonight when I had just about reached my breaking point.
    Almost immediately my computer dinged with a response from someone. It was from Lance, a name I'd seen regularly around the forums. We chatted back and forth for almost two hours. It turned out Lance lived in Fresno too and went to the private school in town.
    I woke up the next day feeling so much better. It had been so awesome to have someone else to talk to who understood what I was going through. I called Tiffany and apologized for my attitude at the dance, I claimed the sick excuse, telling her I hadn't been feeling that well. She seemed to buy it, and things were back to normal, even though I didn't want them that way.
    School became a little easier to get through because I had Lance to come home and chat with at night. After a couple weeks of this, it was Lance who first brought up how lame this was when we lived in the same town and suggested we meet up somewhere. So we exchanged information and pictures— and wow, was he cute— and set up a "date."
    We first met up at an out of the way coffee shop. We got on just as well in person as we did online and it led to hanging out more. It was the third time we were hanging out, in his bedroom, that he first touched me. It was just a small movement, his fingers brushing the top of my hand and lingering there as he looked over at me and smiled. I think my whole body broke out in a sweat but I swear I felt the warmth of his skin for days after that.
    The next time we were together, he got a little bolder and gave me my first kiss. Well, my first real kiss, I didn't count all the girls I'd kissed, because they'd never felt like this. He leaned in and his lips brushed mine softly before pulling back quickly. After I recovered from the shock, I decided I wanted more of that and I grabbed him and pulled him in for a smashing of lips and tongues that left us tingly and breathless.
    Of course, kissing led to other explorations, of course. Which was fantastic. I really liked Lance and I loved having someone to make me forget about school and my life there. We were always very careful when we were together, making sure no one else was in the house or at least that doors were locked.
    So, we