Love Means No Shame - Andrew Grey

exploring.
    They didn’t hurry but let things build slowly. Eli moaned softly as Geoff shifted him down on the bed and lowered his body onto Eli’s, their skin coming into contact. Using one hand, Geoff worked the fabric off Eli’s body and then his own, pressing them together, his mind, the very cells of his skin crying out for as much contact with Eli as possible.
    They made love for hours, Eli loving Geoff, and then Geoff loving Eli. Hands, lips, tongues, fingers… They caressed, tasted, gave, and took everything they wanted or needed. Hours they loved… soft and slow, fast and hard… it didn’t matter. They needed each other, and they loved each other with everything they had. This was the last time, and they made the absolute most of it. Devouring one another, filling one another, memorizing every muscle, every contour, every taste and scent.
    At almost midnight, completely sated and drained, they curled together on the bed, holding one another tightly, knowing this was the last time they’d get to do this.

    “I have something for you.” Geoff got out of bed and went to his dresser. “I want you to have this.” He handed Eli a small photograph. “Len took this just after I returned to the farm.” Eli reached out and took the photo, a tear running down his face. “I don’t have anything for you.” 177 Andrew Grey
    “I don’t need anything.” Geoff turned out the light and held Eli close, almost afraid to close his eyes for fear Eli would be gone when he opened them. Geoff told himself that he wasn’t going to cry, wasn’t going to break down while Eli was here. There would be plenty of time after he left to fall apart, and Geoff knew he would, but not until Eli was gone. At some point in the night, he did fall asleep, only to wake to the feel of the bed moving, but it was just Eli rolling over, and he closed his eyes again.
    When Geoff next opened his eyes, the sun was just peeking through the windows. Eli was still asleep next to him, and Geoff was afraid to move. He knew that once Eli woke, it was the beginning of the end. So he breathed slowly and watched him. Those lips moving ever so slowly, eyelids fluttering occasionally, that smooth chest, milky white skin that felt so good beneath his hands, thick head of black hair. God, he’d never be able to look at Kirk with his shiny black coat and not think of Eli’s rich, shiny hair.
    That almost did it, almost made him cry, but he pushed it away and rested his head against the pillow. Geoff watched as Eli’s blue eyes fluttered open, and Geoff kissed him softly. Eli moved closer, holding him tight and returning the kiss. Then he slowly got up.
    They both knew that the longer they dragged this out, the harder it was going to be.
“I’ll meet you downstairs.” Eli slipped out of the bed and quietly left the room.
    After a while, Geoff got out of bed as well, pulling on a shirt and a pair of jeans. Without thinking, he went into the bathroom, brushing his teeth before stepping into a pair of shoes and heading downstairs. Eli was waiting for him, dressed in the clothes he’d worn when he arrived, looking once again like the proper Amish young man.
    “Do you want me to drive you?”
Eli shook his head. “No, I’ll walk.” 178
Love Means … NO SHAME
    Geoff nodded slowly but didn’t move. He didn’t know what to do. Finally, Eli stepped forward and hugged him, and then he tilted his head and kissed him gently before slowly turning away and walking out the front door. Geoff heard the dogs outside running to Eli for scratches. After a few minutes, he heard footsteps descend the porch stairs.
    Geoff stood there, unmoving, for the longest time. His breathing was measured, like he’d stop if he didn’t force his lungs to suck in the air. Slowly, he turned and forced his feet to lift as he climbed the stairs. At the landing, he saw that the door to Eli’s room was open. Geoff knew that in his mind, it would always be Eli’s room. He went inside.
    On the bed were the jeans and shirts that Eli had worn while he was at the farm, along with the pink bathing suit and a note. With shaking hands, Geoff picked up the piece of paper.

    My beloved Geoff,

    I have nothing else to leave you, so I thought I would leave you this note. As I write this, you are still in bed in the other room, and I can still hear your soft breathing in my ear.
    I wanted to take this chance to thank you, for taking me in, giving me a place to live, and most of all, for