Lucy in the Sky

honestly,’ he says.
    Just him saying that suddenly makes me feel like I don’t need to. Oh, I might take him up on it one of these days but, right now, he’s said the very thing to reassure me. It’s secrets and silence that I can’t stand.
    ‘It’s okay.’ I smile. ‘But thank you.’
    ‘Right! Let’s get these last layers off, then.’ He grins.
    Afterwards, lying in the crook of his arm, I stare up at the ceiling feeling a confusing mix of emotions. I’ve never felt so euphoric. Having him here, in Somerset, with my family…But we’re going to lose all this and that devastates me. A few tears silently make their way down my cheeks.
    ‘Hey,’ he says softly, and bends down to kiss them away. I turn to face him.
    ‘I want you to see England in the spring, in the summer. If you stay, we could come here whenever we want. We could go surfing in Cornwall. We could get a flat together and travel to Europe on weekends.’
    ‘But if you come home with me,’ he counters, ‘we could buy a house by the ocean and do it up. We could go surfing every day. And we’ll be close enough to see our niece or nephew grow up.’
    ‘Oh, God, I can’t bear it! I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to leave. It’s too soon! But I love my job, and moving to Australia right now…’
    He looks at me sadly. ‘If I stayed, it wouldn’t be forever, Luce.’
    ‘But if you stayed, even for six months, I might be ready then. I can’t bear the thought of you going in just over a week.’ Tears spill down my face and he wipes them away.
    ‘I love you, Lucy. I really, really love you. You and I are meant to be together, no matter what. I know it. But I’m worried about you. If you come back to Australia with me, you’ll never be trulyhappy. A part of you will always be in England, and likewise if you stay, I think a piece of you will always be in Sydney. Your heart will always be torn between two countries, two sets of friends and family…’
    Suddenly a sense of calm settles over me and I feel I can see clearly for the very first time.
    ‘My heart is here, with you,’ I say, resting my hand on his beautiful chest. ‘As long as I’m with you, everything else will fall into place.’

Lucy in the Sky

Epilogue
    The sky and the long bank of clouds melt into one another, blue into paler blue. To my left, Nathan sleeps beside me, his head turned towards mine, mouth slightly open. I can almost hear his breathing as I watch the gentle rise and fall of his chest. I take his right hand with my left and he stirs, turning away. The bright morning sunlight hits the aeroplane wing and it bounces off, sending a white shaft piercing through my window. The ring on my finger sparkles, like a star in a midnight sky, a wave on a sunlit ocean, a diamond solitaire.
    A diamond.
    And this time, I smile to myself, I know it’s real.

Acknowledgements
    First and foremost I would like to thank my editor, Suzanne Baboneau. I never thought I’d enjoy the whole writing process as much as I have and that’s to a large extent down to you. Thanks to Julie Wright for her brilliantly crap jokes and to everyone at Simon & Schuster for their tireless efforts and enthusiasm. Above all, thank you to Nigel Stoneman, friend first and now my publicist, and without whom this book may never have happened. You are such a Hornbag.
    Thank you to all my friends and colleagues at heat , but especially Mark Frith: officially the Best Boss Ever. Thank you to Giulia Cassini for her help with all things Italian (and, to some extent, Russian…), and to Lauren Libin for inspiring the ‘Mockah Chockah’ madness and who still insists we could make it a hit. (No, Lauren, no.) And thank you so much to Freya North and Clare Pollock for their invaluable advice regarding all things publishing.
    Thank you to all my friends and family on both sides of the world, but especially Bridie Tonkin, whose love and encouragement since childhood literally blows me away. Thank you to mybrother, Kerrin Schuppan, who I’ve always known was a genius, not least when he came up with the title and some great ideas for my book. Love you, mate. Thank you to my mum, Jenny Schuppan–a friend as much as a parent–for everything, including driving me around Sydney while we worked out where Lucy and her pals lived and partied! And thank you to my dad, Vern Schuppan. I wrote a whole book without getting writer’s block and now I simply cannot find the words that will do justice to