Lucy in the Sky

althoughwe weren’t properly moving in until the weekend, we decided to take our sleeping bags and stay overnight together. It was damned uncomfortable on the floor as we had no mattress, but we giggled our way through the night, aided by several glasses of red wine.
    The weather was perfect that weekend. A clear, sunny Saturday in July with a cool breeze. The flat was full of boxes and we were exhausted from lugging them up three flights of stairs. I suggested to James that he nip down and grab a few things from the local supermarket. He was gone for ages and just as I was starting to feel a bit miffed that he was shirking the work, he called me from his mobile and asked me to come downstairs. He sounded very pleased with himself and I assumed he must’ve bumped into some friends, but when I got outside and looked around, I couldn’t see him. My phone rang again and he told me to come over to the square. There he was, standing inside the black railings with a mischievous grin on his face.
    ‘James! You can’t go in there; it’s private!’
    ‘It’s okay–they let me in,’ and he pointed down to the other end of the square where a young family were playing with their baby.
    Over on the grass James had set up a picnic. He’d even bought a rug, along with a bottle of sparkling wine.
    I look over at the little square now, tiny white snowdrops pushing through the soil, and smile at the memory of James being so romantic. But melancholy seeps back through me like poison and my smile fades.
    I don’t want to be here. I want to be in the warm heart of Sydney. In the warmth of Nathan’s arms. I try to ignore the dull ache in my chest as I cross over the road and into our street.
    My hands are now frozen to the bone and I’m exhausted. By the time I reach our flat, I can’t bear the thought of trying to drag my suitcase up all those stairs. Then the front door opens.
    ‘Lucy!’ James rushes out of the door. ‘How lucky is that? I was just leaving.’ He engulfs me in a warm hug. ‘I didn’t know what time you’d be back. Did you not get my message?’
    ‘Yeah…I got here as quickly as I could.’
    ‘You’re freezing,’ he says, rubbing my arms. ‘Here, let me take this upstairs for you.’
    ‘I just walked here from Paddington!’ I wail, suddenly much in need of sympathy.
    ‘Oh, baby, you must be knackered.’ He carries my suitcase in through the communal door and over all the junk mail partially covering the grubby grey carpet. I climb the stairs behind him, looking up at him in his suit and feeling utterly detached.
    James unlocks the door and pushes it open with his right shoulder, steps through and holds it for me while I pass, both of us out of breath. Then he takes me in his arms, holding me tightly for several seconds, pulling my body into his, while our breathing starts to slow to a regular pace. It feels oddly like I’m being unfaithful.
    James pulls back and surveys me, eyes looking searchingly into mine. He looks smart in his tailored black suit, pristine white shirt and a dark-blue and turquoise striped tie.
    ‘You look different,’ I say.
    ‘Haircut.’ He flashes me a cheeky grin.
    ‘Oh, yes.’ His sandy hair is a bit shorter, I realise. Not quite as floppy.
    ‘Poor thing, you look exhausted,’ he says. ‘Did you get much sleep on the plane?’
    I shake my head, surreptitiously remembering that I’d stayed awake during most of the flight from Singapore, listening to Nathan’s tape.
    ‘Come and have a look through here…’
    I follow him through to the living room. It’s the same; all black and white.
    ‘Well?’ he asks eagerly. I glance from left to right, past the black leather couch he’d insisted on buying, past the cool white acrylic coffee table and matching magazine rack, until my gaze falls on the television. We seem to have acquired a brand-new flatscreen.
    ‘Oh!’
    ‘Do you like it? It’s got the best sound. I thought it would be ideal for all the DVDs you have to watch for work.’
    ‘Oh, right,’ I say.
    He looks crestfallen. ‘Don’t you like it?’
    ‘No, no, I do! It’s amazing. I’m just really tired, that’s all. I can’t really take it in. It’s been a long flight.’
    That seems to placate him.
    ‘You can show it to me properly tonight, okay?’
    He’s already picked up the remote control and is pointing it in the direction of the telly, but then he freezes and looks at his watch. ‘Yeah, actually, I’d better go.’ He plonks the