Lucy in the Sky

has been stifling.
    ‘No, Mum.’ I frown. I told her about Nathan coming here in a brief conversation a couple of weeks ago. We haven’t had a heart-to-heart about it, though. Often when we speak, James is in the room or near by, but I genuinely haven’t felt like discussing it and I’m finding it annoying that people keep asking.
    I know it’s my fault for telling them in the first place. I keep kicking myself. I wish I hadn’t told anyone. Reena called me up the other day and was full of concern, which I didn’t want or need, and Karen called a few weeks ago to give me another lecture. My friends seem to be enjoying the drama of it and that just irritates me.
    ‘When does he arrive?’ Mum asks.
    ‘Two weeks’ time.’
    ‘Gosh,’ she says. ‘Not long.’
    I still don’t want to talk about it, but the weight of her stare pressures me into opening up.
    ‘James and I have been getting on really well,’ I say. ‘So it’s a bit weird.’
    Mum nods. ‘Well, that’s good.’
    ‘Mmm.’
    There’s silence as she sips on her glass of white wine.
    ‘Oh, Mum, I don’t know. I haven’t even spoken to Nathan since I found out he might be coming. I’m really weirded out. I don’t know whether I’ll still feel the same about him. In a way I think I’m scared of not feeling the same about him. And I know that’s crazy. But now I’m not sure if it was real love in Sydney or just a stupid crush.’
    ‘Well, Lucy,’ she finally speaks, ‘I hope for your sake it is the latter. Otherwise it could get messy. But you’ll soon find out, either way. Are you going to meet him off the plane?’
    ‘I don’t know. I’ve thought about it. If I do I’ll have some time with him alone. Because there’s no way James will get up at five o’clock in the morning…But I haven’t made up my mind yet.’
    ‘On the contrary, Lucy, I think you have made up your mind. Just be careful,’ she cautions.
     
    ‘I’m going to go and meet Nathan at the airport,’ I tell James.
    ‘Are you?’ he asks, surprised.
    ‘Yeah,’ I answer. ‘I think it would be nice. Molly and Sam did the same for me.’
    He sighs with disapproval and turns back to the telly.
    ‘It’s not a big deal, James.’
    ‘If you say so,’ he says, but I can tell he’s not over the moon. I go over to the couch and climb onto his lap.
    ‘Oof,’ he says, as I squash his stomach. It’s full of the leftovers from our Thursday night Indian, if the smell from the kitchen is anything to go by.
    ‘Sorry.’ I grin. ‘Anyway you don’t mind, do you?’
    ‘Suppose not.’
    He wriggles uncomfortably, so I climb off him again and go back through to the bedroom to text Nathan my intentions. He texts me straight back with his flight details.
    I wonder if Nathan senses my discomfort. I wonder if that’s why he’s also sticking to short texts rather than proper conversations.
    But it’s not like he’s coming here for me, I keep telling myself; he’s coming because he wants to experience working in London. Here’s me arrogantly thinking I might have something to do with it, when for all I know he could already have another ‘Amy’ on the scene back in Australia. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t called. Maybe it’s because he’s overwrought with sadness and remorse about leaving her to come to the other side of the world for three months. Actually, that thought makes me feel off-colour. I hope it’s not that…
     
    The nerves properly set in the week before he arrives.
    ‘Are you going to the airport?’ Chloe whispers to me, when Gemma disappears from her desk on Friday.
    ‘Yes,’ I whisper back, and she opens her eyes wide.
    ‘It’s not like that,’ I tell her tetchily. ‘I just don’t want him to land here and feel out of it.’
    ‘I thought he had a friend coming too?’ she asks.
    ‘Richard, yes,’ I confirm. ‘He arrived a couple of weeks ago and was doing a bit of backpacking around Europe. Nathan had to finish his house.’
    ‘What house?’ she asks, and I fill her in quickly before Gemma comes back. Just telling her about it makes me feel proud of him, though, and a few butterflies swarm through me. I clip their wings. I keep hearing Mum’s warnings:
     
    It could get messy … Be careful …
     
    I don’t go out that Friday night. Nathan’s flight arrives the next day at the ungodly time of 6 a.m., and I need to get to Heathrow for 6.30 at the very latest. I’m in bed when James gets home late. I can hear him