Me Before You: A Novel

hard. He mostly knows what he needs. But he might need a little help getting them down. We tend to use this beaker here. Or you can crush them with this pestle and mortar and put them in a drink.’
    I picked up one of the labels. I wasn’t sure I had ever seen so many drugs outside a pharmacy.
    ‘Okay. So he has two meds for blood pressure, this to lower it at bedtime, this one to raise it when he gets out of bed. These he needs fairly often to control his muscular spasms – you will need to give him one mid-morning, and again at mid-afternoon. He doesn’t find those too hard toswallow, because they’re the little coated ones. These are for bladder spasms, and these here are for acid reflux. He sometimes needs these after eating if he gets uncomfortable. This is his antihistamine for the morning, and these are his nasal sprays, but I mostly do those last thing before I leave, so you shouldn’t have to worry. He can have paracetamol if he’s in pain, and he does have the odd sleeping pill, but these tend to make him more irritable in the daytime, so we try to restrict them.
    ‘These –’ he held up another bottle ‘– are the antibiotics he has every two weeks for his catheter change. I do those unless I’m away, in which case I’ll leave clear instructions. They’re pretty strong. There are the boxes of rubber gloves, if you need to clean him up at all. There’s also cream there if he gets sore, but he’s been pretty good since we got the air mattress.’
    As I stood there, he reached into his pocket and handed another key to me. ‘This is the spare,’ he said. ‘Not to be given to anyone else. Not even Will, okay? Guard it with your life.’
    ‘It’s a lot to remember.’ I swallowed.
    ‘It’s all written down. All you need to remember for today are his anti-spasm meds. Those ones. There’s my mobile number if you need to call me. I’m studying when I’m not here, so I’d rather not be called too often but feel free till you feel confident.’
    I stared at the folder in front of me. It felt like I was about to sit an exam I hadn’t prepared for. ‘What if he needs … to go to the loo?’ I thought of the hoist. ‘I’m not sure I could, you know, lift him.’ I tried not to let my face betray my panic.
    Nathan shook his head. ‘You don’t need to do any of that. His catheter takes care of that. I’ll be in at lunchtime to change it all. You’re not here for the physical stuff.’
    ‘What am I here for?’
    Nathan studied the floor before he looked at me. ‘Try to cheer him up a little? He’s … he’s a little cranky. Understandable, given … the circumstances. But you’re going to have to have a fairly thick skin. That little skit this morning is his way of getting you off balance.’
    ‘Is this why the pay is so good?’
    ‘Oh yes. No such thing as a free lunch, eh?’ Nathan clapped me on the shoulder. I felt my body reverberate with it. ‘Ah, he’s all right. You don’t have to pussyfoot around him.’ He hesitated. ‘I like him.’
    He said it like he might be the only person who did.
    I followed him back into the living room. Will Traynor’s chair had moved to the window, and he had his back to us and was staring out, listening to something on the radio.
    ‘That’s me done, Will. You want anything before I go?’
    ‘No. Thank you, Nathan.’
    ‘I’ll leave you in Miss Clark’s capable hands, then. See you lunchtime, mate.’
    I watched the affable helper putting on his jacket with a rising sense of panic.
    ‘Have fun, you guys.’ Nathan winked at me, and then he was gone.
    I stood in the middle of the room, hands thrust in my pockets, unsure what to do. Will Traynor continued to stare out of the window as if I weren’t there.
    ‘Would you like me to make you a cup of tea?’ I said, finally, when the silence became unbearable.
    ‘Ah. Yes. The girl who makes tea for a living. I wondered how long it would be before you wanted to show off your skills. No. No, thank you.’
    ‘Coffee, then?’
    ‘No hot beverages for me, just now, Miss Clark.’
    ‘You can call me Lou.’
    ‘Will it help?’
    I blinked, my mouth opening briefly. I closed it. Dad always said it made me look more stupid than I actually was. ‘Well … can I get you anything?’
    He turned to look at me. His jaw was covered in several weeks of stubble, and his eyes were unreadable. He turned away.
    ‘I’ll –’ I cast around the room. ‘I’ll see if there’s any washing,