Mistress of Justice

appearance that might earn them another point or two, get them a step closer to being partner.” She pressed out her cigarette. “Which is so ironic, of course, because they didn’t grasp the situation at all. They should’ve been avoiding this house as if it were a leper colony. If word gets back to Burdick that young Samuel and Frederick and Douglas were paying respects to me, well, then, my God, they’re in Dutch. At worst, they’d had the bad judgment to pick the wrong side; at best, they were displaying an oblivion about law firm politics.
    “So you see, Ms. Lockwood, I am a little perplexed by your sympathy call.” A smile. “That sounds appropriately Victorian, doesn’t it? Sympathy call. Well, you aren’t here to toady. You aren’t here to gloat. Your dress and demeanor tell me you couldn’t care less about what the Donald Burdicks and Wendall Claytons of the world think of you. You’re clearly not one of the little malleable things he picked for his, dare I use the euphemism, girlfriends.… No, you’re genuinely upset. I can see that. Well, you may have respected my husband as a lawyer and an ambitious businessman. But I doubt very much if you respected him as a human being. And I know without a doubt that you didn’t like him.”
    “You had a loss in your life and I’m sorry,” Taylor said evenly. “I didn’t mean anything more or less than that.” She fell silent, watching this shrewd woman light another cigarette with bony, red hands. It seemed as if the smoke that floated out of her nose and mouth had over the years taken with it her weight and softness.
    Mrs. Clayton finally laughed. “Well, I appreciate that, Ms. Lockwood. Forgive my cynicism. I hope I haven’t offended you. But don’t feel sorry for me. Heavens, no. You’re young. You don’t have any experience with marriages of convenience.”
    Well, let’s not go that far, Taylor thought, replaying many images: her parents’ twin beds, her mother with her glass of wine sitting alone in front of the television, her father calling at midnight saying he was staying at his club. Night after night after night …
    Clayton’s widow said, “I guess you’d say our relationship wasn’t even a marriage. It was a merger. His assets and mine. A certain camaraderie. Love? Was there any love between Williams Computing and RFC Industries when they consolidated? To name just one of the deals that took so much of Wendall’s time …” She looked out over the park, spindly with branches, the residue of snow faintly surviving in shadows. “And that’s the irony, you see.”
    “What?”
    “Love—there was never any between us. And yet I’m the one he was most content with. Cold, scheming Wendall, the power broker. The master of control. But once outside of our life, he was at sea. Vulnerable. That’s why he killed himself, of course. For love.”
    “What do you mean?” Taylor heard herself ask, her heart pounding fast.
    “He killed himself for love,” the widow repeated. “That’s the one thing Wendall didn’t understand and couldn’t control. Love. Oh, how he wanted it. And as with so many beautiful, powerful people it was denied him. He was an alcoholic of love. He’d go off on his benders. With his chippies. His little sluts. And there were plenty of them—women would flock to him. A few of the men, too, I should tell you. How they all would want him!
    “He’d spirit them away on carriage rides, buy them roses, have a breakfast tray put together at Le Perigord and sent to their apartments. Wendall goes a-courting. They were all disasters, of course. The girls never quite lived upto what he wanted. The older ones … they turned out to be every bit as superficial and material and cold”—she laughed again, dropping a worm of ash in the ashtray—“as cold as I was. Or he’d pick a young puppy, some ingenue, who’d cling to him desperately, rearrange her life around him. Then he’d feel the arms around his neck, dragging him down. Someone
relying
on him. My Lord, we couldn’t have that, could we? Then he’d dump them. And back he’d come to me. To nurse his wounds.”
    Taylor jumped in to steer the conversation back on course. “What do you mean about his suicide? Killing himself for love?”
    “It’s the only thing that makes sense. He must’ve fallen madly in love with somebody and he was sure she was the one. When she told him no it must’ve devastated him.”
    “But the note he left said he