Monstrous Regiment

Sergeant!” said Blouse. And there was a gleam in his eye.
    Polly remembered Blouse looking at the captured cavalry captain. This was that same look, the look which said: now I have the upper hand.
    Jackrum’s chins wobbled.
    “You had something to add, Sergeant?” said Blouse.
    “Er, no…sir,” said Jackrum, his face an open declaration of war.
    “We’ll leave at moonrise,” said Blouse. “I suggest we all get some rest until then. And then…may we prevail.”
    He nodded to the group, and walked over to where Polly had spread his blanket in the lee of the bushes. After a few moments, there were some snores, which Polly refused to believe.
    Jackrum certainly didn’t. He got up and strode out of the firelight. Polly hurried after him.
    “Did you hear that?” snarled the sergeant, staring out at the darkening hills. “The little yoyo! What right has he got, checking up in the book o’ words?”
    “Well, you did quote chapter and verse, Sarge,” said Polly.
    “So? Officers are s’posed believe what they’re told! And then he smiled! Did you see? Caught me out and smiled at me! Thinks he’s got one over on me, just because he caught me out!”
    “You did lie, Sarge.”
    “ I did not, Perks! It’s not lying when you do it to officers! It’s presentin’ them with the world the way they think it ought to be! You can’t let ’em start checkin’ up for themselves! They get the wrong ideas! I told you, he’ll be the death of all of us! Invading the bloody Keep? The man’s wrong in the head!”
    “Sarge!” said Polly urgently,
    “Yes, what?”
    “We’re being signaled, Sarge!”
    On a distant hilltop, twinkling like an early evening star, a white light was flashing.

    Blouse lowered his telescope.
    “They’re repeating ‘CQ,’” he said. “And I believe those longer pauses are when they’re aiming their tube in different directions. They’re looking for their spies. ‘Seek You,’ see? Private Igor?”
    “Thur?”
    “You know how that tube works, don’t you?”
    “Oh, yeth, thur. You jutht light a flare in the box, and then it’th just point and click.”
    “You’re not going to answer it, are you, sir?” said Jackrum, horrified.
    “I am indeed, Sergeant,” said Blouse briskly. “Private Carborundum, please assemble the tube. Manickle, please bring the lantern. I shall need to read the code book.”
    “But that’ll give away our position!” said Jackrum.
    “No, Sergeant, because although this term may be unfamiliar to you, I intend to what we call ‘lie,’” said Blouse. “Igor, I’m sure you have some scissors, although I’d rather you didn’t attempt to repeat the word.”
    “I have some of the applianthetheth you mention, thir,” said Igorina stiffly.
    “Good.” Blouse looked around. “It’s almost pitch-dark now. Ideal. Take my blanket and cut, oh, a three-inch circle out of it, then tie the blanket over the front of the tube.”
    “That will cut off motht of the light, thur!”
    “Indeed it will. My plan depends upon it,” said Blouse proudly.
    “Sir, they will see the light, they’ll know we’re here,” said Jackrum, as though repeating things to a child.
    “I explained, Sergeant. I will lie,” said Blouse.
    “You can’t lie when—”
    “Thank you for your input, Sergeant, that will be all for now,” said Blouse. “Are we ready, Igor?”
    “Jutht about, thur,” said Igorina, tying the blanket across the end of the tube. “Okay, thur. I’ll light the flare when you thay.”
    Blouse unfolded the little book.
    “Ready, Private?” he said.
    “Yup,” said Jade.
    “On the word ‘long’ you will hold the trigger for the count of two, and then let go. On the word ‘short’ you will hold it down for the count of one, and likewise let go. Got that?”
    “Yup, El Tee. Could hold it down for lots, if you like,” said Jade. “One, two, many, lots. I’m good at countin’. High as you like. Jus’ say der word.”
    “Two will suffice,” said Blouse. “And you, Private Goom, I want you to take my telescope and look for long and short flashes from that light over there, understand?”
    Polly saw Wazzer’s face and said quickly: “I’ll do that, sir!”
    A small white hand was laid on her arm. In the miserly glimmer of the dark lantern, Wazzer’s eyes glowed with the light of certainty.
    “The Duchess guides our footsteps now,” she said and took the telescope from the lieutenant. “What we are doing is Her work,