Mourn not your Dead

you feel or don’t feel. You have every—”
    “No. Let me finish.” She turned back to him, brushing the hair back from her face impatiently. “You don’t understand what I’m trying to tell you. I saw everything as black or white. You or the job. I was afraid that I would let what I felt for you consume me. I was afraid of losing myself, losing everything I’ve worked to become.
    “Except...” She paused, staring at her dark and wavering reflection in the smooth surface of her wine. “I saw Claire Gilbert find her strength, begin taking back her life, even after all she’s been through. I realized that we always have a choice, and that I can choose not to let go what I’ve made of myself.”
    Gemma looked up at him, swallowed, took a breath. She could hear the pulse in her ears. “I’m not doing this very well. What I’m trying to say is that I think I have to take that risk. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking in other people’s windows, wondering what it would be like to be loved.
    “What happened to Will... and Jackie... it could have been you. The chance we have is so fragile... I don’t want to pass it up.”
    She had run out of words and could only wait now for his answer. Seconds passed as he looked at her without speaking, his face expressionless. Panic made her blood run cold. Had she left it too late?
    Then he smiled, the familiar mischievous grin, and lifted a questioning eyebrow. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained?”
    Gemma nodded, unable to speak.
    Raising his glass to her, he said softly, “Cheers, my love.” He drank, then set his wine carefully on the halfmoon table. “How long before we have to collect Toby?”
     

About the Author
     
    An Agatha and Macavity nominee, Deborah Crombie received international acclaim for her first three mysteries, A Share in Death, All Shall Be Well, and Leave the Grave Green, which are being published in Great Britain, Germany, Italy, and Japan. She grew up in Dallas, Texas, and later lived in Edinburgh and in Chester, England. She travels to Great Britain to research her books and recently lectured at St. Hilda’s College, Oxford. She now lives in a small North Texas town with her husband, daughter, cocker spaniel, and four cats.
     

 
     

DEBORAH CROMBIE is a native Texan who has done graduate studies in medieval literature. She has lived in Scotland and England.
She is the author of the Superintendent Duncan Kincaid/Sergeant Gemma James mystery series: A SHARE IN DEATH, ALL SHALL BE WELL, LEAVE THE GRAVE GREEN, and MOURN NOT YOUR DEAD She lives near Dallas, Texas.