My Everything

at what I’d be working with. Albeit, it’s not much, but it’s enough for me to provide good healthcare for the patients and it’s more than enough for me to get my mind off of things back home.
    My day is relatively smooth, peaceful even. I see a few of my favorite kids and they coax me into a game of football after work. I can’t pass up the opportunity to spend time with them; it’s one of the reasons I’m here.
      When I told Josie we were moving, I knew she wouldn’t come with me. It was my last-ditch effort to save what was falling through my fingers. I won’t lie, I saw Noah out there playing with these children and appreciating what he had, giving him the ability to teach them what he knew and learn from them. For me it was a win-win. I’d be doing a service as a doctor and a parent. I was being selfish.
    After handing Aubrey my files and once again avoiding any personal contact, I step outside into the blazing inferno. Nightfall will be a welcome reprieve simply because the sun won’t be burning itself into our skin.
    “Doctor, doctor,” one of my young patients yells. He’s motioning for me to come to him. He kicks his football to his buddy and takes my hand, pulling me into the circle. He tells his friends that I’m playing, this much I can decipher as the kids split off into two teams.
     
    I crawl into bed and pull her into my arms. She’s so warm and soft against my rough hands. Tomorrow is our two-year anniversary. I have plans that I’ve kept secret from her. I had to work out the logistics with her parents so they could watch Noah and her mom can work in the store. I’ve been on her about hiring someone, but she’s happy working alone.
    “Are you asleep?” I whisper against her skin.
    “Mhm,” she mumbles.
    “Liar.”
    She rolls in my arms, her fingertips dance along the stubble on my jaw. I lean down and kiss her softly.
    “I love you, Josie.”
    “I love you too.”
    “Noah wants to play football. He asked me after dinner.” I feel her stiffen in my arms. I wish I could take away the pain, but she never talks about it. I hate that she has to deal with all this shit. Sometimes I wish Noah was a girl. Maybe things would be different.
    I know she sees Liam when she looks at Noah. Hell, I do. It’s like Liam is living in our house while not actually being here.
    “I don’t want him playing.”
    “I know you don’t, but he’s a boy and his friends are playing. It’s a natural thing for him to want to play, plus there’s Mason. We are throwing football down his throat.”
    She rests her head on my chest, her fingers dancing along my skin. “He can’t turn out like his dad.”
    “He won’t. I won’t let it go to his head.”
    “You’ll protect him?”
    “As if he was my own, Josie, you should know that.”
    “Okay.”
    “Okay,” I say, kissing the top of her head. She knew this day was coming and I know she was hoping he’d play soccer. We’ll just have to deal with it.
     
    I quickly realize that I’m the only one with a shirt on, so I strip mine off and match the boys. They giggle relentlessly at the white man standing in front of them so I do what any self-respecting man would do; I steal the ball and dribble toward their goal. The laughing quickly stops when they figure out what I’m trying to do and now we have a game.
    It isn’t long until it’s time for the children to head to their homes. I hug them all goodbye with promises of another rematch. This is probably the best workout I’ve had since I arrived and something I’ll definitely do again. The bonding is important so that they trust me. I need for them to know that I’m an okay person even if sometimes I have to give them shots.
    I bend to pick up my dust-covered shirt and my eyes land on Aubrey. She’s standing in the doorway of the clinic watching us. For the first time I wave and watch in amazement as her face lights up. She waves back and stands a little straighter. I don’t know what I’m doing here. With Josie, everything progressed naturally. She brought Noah in shortly after I took over the practice and I saw how lonely she looked. I took a chance that night and brought them dinner, determined to shower them both with love and affection, not just her. I wanted both of them to be in my life. I was bold then and look where it got me.
    I shake the dust out of my shirt, but don’t put it back on. I’m sweaty, it’s dirty and I’m in desperate need of a shower. I take a step