Never Forget (Memories)

have no doubt that if James is there and so much as looks my way he'll get another black eye, but I don't really want to go down that route.
    And that's why I'm dawdling.
    That's why I conveniently can't find anything to wear. It's also why my mascara has conveniently gone missing. Or if I'll be honest, it's hiding under my pillow. But no one else needs to know that.
    ''You don't have to go if you don't want to.'' Bing pokes his head round the door. ''Why don't we all just hang out here? Me and Dad can set up the burner outside.''
    ''Don't need the burner,'' I reply and sit on my bed. ''It's hot enough.''
    ''Then we'll just chill out on the decking.'' He shrugs. ''Really, sis, you ain't gotta go.''
    ''No.. I..'' I sigh. ''I want to go, but I'm worried he'll be there.''
    ''If he is and he so much as looks your way he'll have another black eye,'' Bing growls.
    Point? Proven.
    ''That's exactly what I don't want to happen, Bing.''
    ''Pretend Alec is your boyfriend. He might as well be.''
    ''I'm gonna ignore that last part.'' I glance at him. ''But I doubt that'll make a difference. Guys like James.. They take what they want, whether it belongs to someone else or not. Not that my anything belongs to anyone but me.''
    ''Ah-huh.'' Bing nods and sits next to me. I can hear the disbelief in his tone. ''Dear sister, when will you see that something of yours does belong to someone?''
    ''Bing..''
    ''I'm just asking. I'm as thick as two wooden planks and even I can see it. Just admit it to yourself and we're cool.''
    I smack him with my pillow. ''Maybe I'm not ready to totally admit it to myself, yet. I'll let you know when I am, though, so thanks for the advice, champ.'' I roll my eyes.
    ''Any time. You know my experience.'' He winks.
    ''I didn't realise your casual sex involved feelings!'' I gasp.
    He scowls at me and hits me back with the pillow.
    ''Get ready. You'll be fine.'' Bing gets up and moves back to the door. ''You didn't see the look on Alec's face last weekend, Lexy.'' He looks at me over his shoulder, his mocha coloured eyes meeting mine. ''If you didn't need him, he would have killed that prick. I've never seen anyone so angry. Alec ain't gonna let anyone touch you other than him apart from me, Jen and Carl. Trust him.''
    He disappears with his final words.
    And the words are there again. Trust. Trust him. Will Alec let anyone hurt me? No, I know he won't. But it's still that word.
    Why can't I still get over that word where he's concerned?
    I sigh dramatically and reach under my pillow, retrieving my runaway mascara. I look at the tube and smile resolutely.
    ''Let's do this,'' I say to it and stop.
    Am I really talking to mascara now?
    Sheesh.
    My door bangs open and Jen storms in.
    ''You would not believe the ass kicking I just got off my sister!'' She half shouts. '''Don't go and get drunk tonight. Don't forget you have to be up early, so no staying over at Carl's. I don't want you to be hungover for my big day.' Honestly, she's a fucking nightmare tonight. I am so glad to be out of that damn house. She's like one of those sniper guns, always on target with what to say to piss you off. Even Mum wants to get the frying pan out of the cupboard and knock her out until the morning. She is that bad.''
    ''She's just excited,'' I say, leaning over the mirror applying the mascara to my lashes.
    ''Excited? No, she's freaking. She's absolutely freaking out. And I'm talking a freak out of epic proportions. Like, I'm waiting for her Bridezilla horns to pop out the top of her head.'' Jen chucks herself on my bed and sighs.
    ''Are you breathing yet?'' I giggle and look at her through the mirror.
    ''Yes. Pretty much. Hey, does your Gram have any Vino around here?''
    ''Uh, yes. It's hidden, though.''
    ''Hm. No bother then.'' Jen shrugs. ''Let me guess, your brother is in the bathroom?''
    ''Most likely,'' I reply, returning to my make-up.
    ''Uggggh,'' she groans and grabs her bag, leaving the room. I hear her knock on the bathroom door.
    ''What?'' Bing yells.
    ''Get your fat ass out of the bathroom!'' Jen hollers through the door.
    ''Wait your turn, prawn-girl.''
    ''Oh, you're so original!''
    I shake my head and step back. ''Bing! Stop being such a girl!''
    ''Alright, alright.'' He grumbles and opens the door widely. ''Happy, Jennifer?''
    Jen smiles tightly. ''Yes, thank you, Samuel.''
    She walks into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, and Bing makes a gun motion at me with his hand. He cocks his wrist, blows imaginary