Nightside 05 - Paths Not Taken

up, going out of his way to make it clear our nakedness meant nothing to him. He sorted everything out into one manageable pile and lifted it up, almost disappearing behind it.
    "Your clothes will be cleaned, and your weapons guarded, until you are ready to leave, sir and lady. Enjoy the baths, stay as long as you like, and please remember to get out of the pool to take a piss."
    He backed out, and the doors swung shut behind him, leaving Suzie and me alone together. For a long moment we stood and looked at each other. For all the things we'd done and been through together, we'd never seen each other naked before. I'd thought I'd feel awkward, but mostly I still felt protective. I kept my gaze on her face at first, trying to be polite, but Suzie didn't bother with any of that. She looked me over with frank curiosity. So I did the same. She had so many scars, so many old hurts, tracking across her body like the map of her troubled life.
    "And those are only the ones that show," said Suzie. She smiled, as our eyes met. "Not bad, Taylor. I always wondered what you'd look like, without the trench coat."
    "You look great," I said. "I always thought you'd have tattoos, somewhere."
    "Nah," she said dismissively. "I could never make my mind up. I just knew I'd end up hating it in the morning."
    "Just as well," I said. "It would have been like scribbling graffiti across a masterpiece."
    "Oh please, Taylor. I have no illusions about how I look. Even before my new face."
    "You look fine," I said firmly. "Trust me."
    "You smooth-talking devil, Taylor."
    We couldn't maintain the light tone any more, so we stopped talking. She had a good body, with large friendly breasts and a pleasantly padded stomach. But the scars were everywhere; knife wounds, bullet wounds, the marks of tooth and claw. You don't get to be the best and most feared bounty hunter in the Nightside without being willing to fight up close and personal.
    "You have scars, too," Suzie said finally. "Life has left its mark on us, John."
    She reached out a hand, and slowly, cautiously, she traced some of my scars with her fingertip. Only the very tip of her forefinger, a touch gentle as a breeze, wandering across my body. I stood very still. Suzie had been sexually abused repeatedly as a child, by her own brother. She killed him for it, eventually. But ever since she'd never been able to touch or be touched, by anyone. Not even the briefest touch, the gentlest caress. Not by lovers, or friends, or even me. She stepped a little closer, and I held myself very still, not wanting to frighten her off. God alone knew how much strength it took, for her to do this small thing. I could see her breasts rising and falling as she breathed deeply. Her face was calm, thoughtful. I wanted so much to reach out to her... but in the end, her hand dropped to her side, and she turned her face away.
    "I can't," she said. "I can't... Not even with you, John."
    "It's all right," I said.
    "No it isn't. It'll never be all right."
    "You've come such a long way, Suzie."
    She shook her head, still not looking at me. "What's done can't be undone. I've always known that. I can't... care for you, John. I don't think I have it in me any more."
    "Of course you do," I said. "Five years ago, you shot me in the back to stop me leaving, remember?"
    She nodded, and looked at me again. "It was a cry for attention."
    I moved in close, trying hard to seem supportive without crowding her. "There was a time ... you wouldn't even have been able to do this much, Suzie. You're changing. So am I. And we monsters must stick together."
    She looked at me, and though she didn't smile, she didn't look away. Slowly, and very cautiously, I raised my hand, and with the very tips of my fingers I touched the ridged mass of scar and burn tissue that now made up the right side of her face. The hard skin felt cold and dead. Suzie looked into my eyes, hardly blinking, but she didn't flinch.
    "You do know," I said. "That I will never let you be hurt like this again. I will bleed and hurt and die before I let this happen again."
    But that was a step too far. The warmth went out of her eye, and I quickly took my hand away from her face. She looked at me for a long moment, her expression calm and cold and utterly controlled.
    "I can look after myself, Taylor. But thanks for the thought. Shall we go and take a look at the baths?"
    "Why not?" I said. The moment of intimacy had passed, and I knew there was nothing I could do to retrieve