Nightside 11 - A Hard Days Knight

much, lately, John; we’re all tired and worn-out. By the time we gain the upper hand and drive the elves from the Nightside, I’m not sure how much of the Nightside will be left. We’re still rebuilding from the last two wars. We’re not as resilient as we used to be.
    “I should be down there with them, leading and inspiring the troops. But I wanted to talk to you first. They say ... you have Excalibur.”
    “I did have,” I said. “I handed it over to the returned King Arthur. He’s back, Julien. King Arthur has come back to us.”
    “Any other day, that news would have gladdened my heart beyond measure,” said Julien. “But what can one man, even such a man, do against a whole army of elves?”
    “Well,” I said, “he may not have an army of his own, but he knows a man who does. In fact, I’ve had a really good idea. Do what you can to buy me some time, Julien; and I’ll come back with reinforcements that will really make your eyes pop.”
    “Taylor!” said Julien, as I flipped open the gold pocket-watch. “Don’t you dare disappear on me! You’re the Walker now!”
    But I was already on my way, back to Strangefellows.

    When I reappeared in the bar, Kae was leading everyone in a really quite appalling drinking song, “’Twas on the Good Ship Venus .” Complete with hand gestures. Arthur looked like he was having the time of his life. Alex was beating out the rhythm of the song on the bar top with both hands. Suzie was doing her best to join in, even though she has a singing voice like a goose farting in a fog. Even the vulture was dancing excitedly on top of the till.
    I did my best to get them all to shut up and pay attention, but when that failed, I had no choice but to give Suzie one of our little secret signals. She immediately stopped singing, drew the shotgun from its holster on her back, and fired both barrels into the air. The song cut off abruptly in mid verse. In the sudden silence, bits of the ceiling fell down. Arthur and Kae swung round to face me, their hands on the swords at their sides. Alex hid behind the bar, and the vulture hid behind the till. I gave Arthur my best I-mean-business glare.
    “The elves have come to the Nightside. They’re out there right now, killing people, while you’re having a party. And these are not the elves you remember so fondly, Arthur. They’re hunting and butchering people for the sport of it.”
    “Then we must stop them,” Arthur said immediately. “Kill them all for daring to war on Mankind. And to send whoever may be behind this invasion a very definite message. It’s always best to negotiate from a position of strength and vindictiveness. Kae, are your London Knights ready for battle?”
    “Always,” said Kae. “Simply say the word, Sire.”
    “The word is given, my brother. If the elves want war, we shall show them what war really is.”
    “But I have to get back to Castle Inconnu, to raise my army,” said Kae. “And we don’t have time to go by any of the usual routes.”
    Everyone looked at me.
    “The Portable Timeslip won’t take us past all the protections you’ve put in place,” I said. “Which means, we’re going to have to ask a certain someone for help. A certain individual with a great many Doors ...”
    “Oh bloody hell,” said Suzie. “Not the Doormouse again.”
    Arthur gave me a hard look. “Am I to understand we have to beg assistance from a mouse?”
    “He’s a very nice mouse,” I said.
    Kae was already grinning broadly. “Oh, I think you’re going to like this one, Arthur.”

    The Portable Timeslip took all of us to the Doormouse’s excellent establishment. Alex stayed behind, to lock up and barricade the bar against any passing elves who might decide they had a bit of a thirst on. The rest of us appeared right outside the shop, and Arthur looked round interestedly. He’d never seen the Nightside itself before. Half the street-lights had been smashed, and a few dead bodies lay here and there; but otherwise, it was pretty quiet. Many of the shops were closed and boarded up, but the neon lights still blazed brightly. It could have been just another Saturday night. Arthur sniffed.
    “A bit gaudy, for my tastes.” He looked round sharply as a whole building at the end of the street exploded. His hand went to Excalibur on his hip.
    “Let’s get the army first,” I said quickly. “And, let’s get inside before anyone sees us.”
    “I do not run from the enemy,” Arthur said